Love withstands all
by lil washu-chan1
Summary: For some reason Sesshomaru is drawn to Kagome. But why? Will he find out if he takes her to his home? and what happens when she keeps the secret of her past and her daughter from Sess? will love still bloom?
1. Against my will

One of my fav authors is giving out 8 challenge fic ideas. I'm doing number 1. So check it out!  
  
" I hate walking!" a little girl complained. Her long silver hair blowing with the cool breeze. As she held her mother's hand she did nothing but remind her of the stupid thing they were doing by running away from all their problems.  
  
"Momma can we rest now?" the girl asked for what seemed to be the hundredth time. She looked to her mother with pleading eyes. Kagome smiled down at her daughter.  
  
"Alright." She finally agreed. They settled down and Kagome put her bag on the dirt floor. As they made camp in silence, the child stared at her mother.  
  
"You ok, Momma?" she asked. Kagome just nodded. She patted her daughter's head and rubbed her puppy ears softly.  
  
"Mimi gather wood for the fire please." Kagome requested of her. Anomie rolled her eyes at her nickname. Without responding the child of age nine began picking up twigs. When she had gathered more than twelve she dropped them in front of her mother.  
  
"He came again?" she asked softly. She watched as her mother piled the twigs in a small pit she had dug with her bare hands, take a match, and light them. The fire blazed up for a few seconds then died down a bit. Kagome looked into the fire. Anomie saw how hard she was trying not to cry. Her mother nodded.  
  
"While you were sleeping. He came, we talked, and then he left again." She said. Anomie began to stare at the fire too. Watching as the fire cackled and devoured the dry leaves and twigs that lay around it.  
  
"What did he want?" She asked. At this question tears began to flow down Kagome's cheeks. Anomie panicked.  
  
"WAIT! I didn't mean to make you cry, momma! I'm sorry!" she said quickly. Kagome wiped her tears with the back of her sleeves.  
  
"I know, sweetie. I'm just sad because I miss my family and my friends. We can't go see them because he'll be there." She said. Anomie hugged her mother.  
  
"But you have me, momma. You'll always have me. Forever and ever I promise." The little girl said. Kagome hugged back. " I know." She replied.  
  
"And.and daddy will never break us apart right?" Anomie asked. Kagome nodded.  
  
"No, sweetie. Inuyasha will never take you from me. Never."  
  
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Sesshomaru looked over his land from his balcony for what seemed to be the fifth time today. He was filled with the feeling of restlessness and had been roaming around trying to fulfill it. At first he thought it as just boredom but after killing a few lowly demons for petty amusements he had found it to be unsatisfying.  
  
As his eyes roamed over his land once more he spotted an orange glow emitting from a spot in his forest. He felt a shiver go up his spine. It was if his body was telling him this is what he wanted. The glow was his destination. Curiosity brought him to the brink as Sesshomaru blinked once and was gone.  
  
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Anomie's ears twitched. She then lifted her head to the sky and took deep breaths through her nose.  
  
"Momma what's that?" she asked. Kagome looked up from her ramen. "What does it sound like?" she asked. Anomie concentrated hard.  
  
"Someone is..running. It's fast." She said. Kagome looked concerned now. "Well what does it smell like?" she asked now. Anomie concentrated on that too.  
  
"I smell..anger and curiosity and lots of power. I also smell nervousness but that's from you mamma." Anomie concluded. Kagome got up.  
  
"Go and hide. Don't move until I tell you to."  
  
"But ma--"  
  
"GO!"  
  
Anomie ran and jumped into the nearest bush. There she peeked out from her 'sanctuary' and watched.  
  
Kagome looked around to see if she could find the direction the thing was coming from.  
  
"Over there mamma!" Anomie half whispered and half yelled. She pointed in a direction and as she did the sleeve of her blue haori tore and ripped.  
  
"Hush!" Kagome replied no staring in the direction her daughter had pointed her in. Anomie nodded and retreated back into the bushed and scratched her cheek.  
  
Only a few seconds later Sesshomaru was in front of Kagome. He raised an elegant eyebrow.  
  
"You?" he asked. Kagome stared in shock. She had been expecting Inuyasha but instead had ended herself up with his half brother.  
  
"You?" she replied to him. Sesshomaru looked around. "Where is my brother?" he asked. Kagome looked down.  
  
"He isn't here." She said. Sesshomaru grabbed her by the neck and lifted her up.  
  
"Do not attempt to lie to me human wench. You are covered in his stench!" he said applying a small amount of pressure so that the girl could still breathe and talk. If only for a little while longer.  
  
Kagome's feet dangled uselessly in the air.  
  
"Has my brother finally gained some sense and abandoned you for the useless wench that you are?" he asked coldly. Truly the lord was expecting a rude and fiery response but instead Kagome had just frowned.  
  
"It seems so." She said quietly. This shocked and amused Sesshomaru at the same time. Although his delicate face did not show it, Sesshomaru was beginning to enjoy himself by thinking of ways to kill the young girl. Then the feeling hit him again. His body slightly shifting from the feeling of vibrations that climbed up his backbone. His mind told him to kill the girl but his body would not obey. The cold and ugly heart inside of him was resisting such a demand.  
  
'Why in the hell can I not kill her?' his mind raced. He dropped Kagome on the dirt floor and turned around. Just as he was about to leave he thought the better of it.  
  
"You are coming with me." He said surprised that the actual words had come out of his mouth. Kagome stood a few feet behind him and rubbed her neck.  
  
"Sorry but I'm against kidnapping." She replied.  
  
"I am not a common thief. I do not kidnap. You are on my land and therefore you are trespassing. It is my wish to do with you whatever I please." He said in his calm smooth voice.  
  
"You are a common thief if you have taken someone's life. Which I know you have. If I am simply trespassing then I'll leave." She said curtly. Sesshomaru turned his head to the side. The feeling passing through him again. It was deeply agitating him. He walked up to her and she retreated. She was careful to steer him away from where her precious child hid.  
  
Her back bumped against the rough bark of a tree. He came closer and stopped just inches from her. They stared intensely at each other for what seemed to be a few minutes. Then he grabbed her by the wrist.  
  
"I will find out what draws me to you in such a horrid way and you shall show no defiance to me." He said. Then without giving a second thought he sped off towards his home and dragged the girl with her.  
  
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Just a lil teaser! Don't worry Anomie and Kagome will be reunited in the next chapter. Even if Sesshy don't know about it.  
  
My friend Samarah-chan is doing the same challenge. If you want to know the idea I got this from then check out ForestKarma's profile. Also e-mail me if you're gonna do this one 2. I wanna read it!  
  
Baby_blu022@hotmail.com 


	2. you have taken me

Sesshomaru walked in his home. The huge mansion that stood upon a hill and overlooked his vast lands and everything else that he possessed. The girl was showing some resistance toward him but when she saw the inside of his house she paused for only a second and looked around in awe.  
  
Then as quickly as she had stopped she began fidgeting again. Sesshomaru lifted her up by her wrist.  
  
"Will you stop you're incisive movements?" he asked. Kagome looked at him and scowled.  
  
"Let me go." She said. Sesshomaru dropped her again. Kagome picked herself up and began walking towards the door. But Sesshy picked her up from the back of her shirt like a dog would do to a wayward pup.  
  
"You are pushing it ningen." said he before he snapped his fingers and an old man appeared, his limp long tail lagging behind him.  
  
"Take her to a room and make sure she cleanses herself from that horrible hanyou stench, then bring her to me." He ordered and the old man nodded. He grabbed Kagome's wrist and began pulling her with a strength that an old man should not have.  
  
'Duh,' Kagome thought. 'He's youkai too.'  
  
He brought her to a room and led her inside into what seemed to be an indoor hot spring. There he closed the door and waited. Kagome stared at him.  
  
"Bathe yourself." The old man said in a soft and kind voice.  
  
"No thank you. I think I'll just slip out the door." Kagome said politely but the man would not move.  
  
"It is my lord's wish that you bathe yourself. Are you capable of doing this by yourself?" the man asked. Kagome nodded. "Then please do so." The man said. Yet Kagome still refused. At this the old man walked up to her and began trying to take off her shirt.  
  
"WHAT are you DOING?" Kagome asked angrily. The old man sighed.  
  
"You are not following my lord's order and I must make sure that you do. Please stay still." He said a bit more firmly. Kagome wriggled away from him. The old man scowled and his tail wrapped around Kagome's waist and held on tightly.  
  
"My lord shall not be disobeyed." The old man said.  
  
Sesshomaru looked out from the balcony once again. He then heard a scream and  
  
The girl yelling "GET ME AWAY FROM THE DAMN TUB!" Sesshomaru put his head in his hands.  
  
Of all girls why did he have to be drawn to such a loud and rude one?  
  
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They sat across each other in Sesshomaru's study. Kagome was now wearing a simple white kimono and her hair was dripping wet. Ever since she came out from the bathing room he hadn't said a word.  
  
Sesshomaru was getting bored. "You're name is Kagome, I believe." He said. Kagome gave a small and firm nod.  
  
"You shall say 'yes Lord Sesshomaru' when I am waiting for you're reply. Do you understand?" he asked coldly. Kagome stood up and walked out the door. Sesshomaru heard her walking down the hall and towards the main door. Then it began.  
  
"You are not permitted to leave." One of his servants said.  
  
"I am now. You're lord just gave me permission." He heard her lie. Then he heard a small shuffling sound.  
  
"Hey! Put me down!" he heard her yell. He heard footsteps coming towards his study and the door opened. It looked comical to see an old man carrying a young woman over his shoulder. She uselessly pounded against his back but he calmly sat her in her seat again and left the room.  
  
"This is the third time. Are you finished?" Sesshomaru asked calmly. Though he felt his patience begging to slip.  
  
Kagome then got on her knees and out her hands together in a prayer position.  
  
"Please. I beg of you. Let me go. I swear to kami I will NEVER come ten feet within you're lands." She said. Tears brimmed her eyes as she thought of her daughter.  
  
Sesshomaru stared at her. He had stopped listening when he noticed the beautiful scent emitting from her. How could he have missed it before? He shivered again. The sensation climbing up his spine and rattling his skull. He was beginning to like it. Though his placid face never showed such emotions. Then it struck him. If he let the girl go she vowed to never come close to him again. Sesshomaru would not allow that to happen. The girl would stay here. For his own pleasure at least...  
  
He snapped his fingers and his old servant came in.  
  
"Ojai please put Miss.Kagome in a room. She is not to leave. Make sure that she is given all that she desires." He said coolly.  
  
"My only desire is to be set free!" she yelled.  
  
"Everything but that." Sesshomaru said and watched as the girl was pulled away. Strangely she did not object or cause a scene. She only stared back at Sesshomaru with a look that could melt ice. But it wasn't one that could have any affect on him. Not one what so ever.  
  
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Kagome pulled her bed sheets into a tight knot.  
  
"This should be secure." She said. For the past three hours she had been tying bed sheets together in hopes of making a rope. Her guard, Ojai had asked why she had requested so many.  
  
"I just get so cold." was her reply. She sent her guard to wait outside the door. He obeyed. Truthfully she didn't have nearly enough for the fourteen feet height that her balcony stood upon, but the rope had become so long that she only had to endure a two-foot fall. She tied one end to the banister and threw the rest over. Then giving a steady pull to test its strength she smiled as it held. Kagome threw one leg over.  
  
"Psssst. Momma!" she suddenly heard. Kagome stopped. Looking around she only saw trees and felt the wind blow.  
  
"Over here!" she heard again. Kagome turned to the side and saw a figure in the shadow.  
  
"ANOMIE!" she yelled as her daughter leaped into her arms. Tears of joy and relief were falling down both their cheeks. Then Kagome got a good look at her daughter and gasped.  
  
The poor girl was all blotchy and itchy. Kagome felt her forehead.  
  
"No fever. What happened?" she asked concerned. Anomie shrugged.  
  
"I just ran into the bushes like you said." She replied. The truth dawned on Kagome.  
  
"Poison Ivy." She said sighing. She supposed she would be the same way in a few hours.  
  
"I'll go and get my bag. Stay and relax." She said. She was about to climb over but then the door suddenly erupted open. In fear, Kagome placed the rope in Anomie's hand and pushed her over the balcony, knowing that the girl would be all right. She then walked back into the room to face Sesshomaru.  
  
"Whom were you talking to?" he asked. Kagome looked around innocently.  
  
"No one." She lied. Sesshomaru could smell it off her. He stepped closer. A low growl rising in his throat.  
  
"I will ask again. Lie to me and face the consequences. Whom were you talking to?" he asked. Kagome looked around nervously. Sesshomaru inhaled. He smelled Kagome's scent, Inuyasha's scent, and the scent of the forest. He reached for the girl's neck.  
  
"It was my brother!" he yelled in outrage. Little did he know that Anomie had both her parent's scents. Sesshomaru felt his blood boiling. The girl was his now and his alone. For his half brother to interfere was certain death. His grip began to tighten on the fragile neck.  
  
So close to snapping her neck, he was. So pleasing to the ears was her desperate gasps for air. Her body struggling and her hands trying to pull off his own from her neck. So close to death.  
  
His heartbeat increased rapidly. His body shaking. Sesshomaru felt something in his eyes. Water beginning to flow. He could smell the salt. He dropped the girl to feel his face with his only hand. Then looked down and pondered at the wet substance on his fingertips. So cautious and nervous at the feelings that were overtaking his body. He turned and left. Ashamed at himself for what he had done to her. Ashamed at what he had done to himself.  
  
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Ok that's done. YAY! Im sooo sorry I haven't updated! Life is just in the way. Inuyasha will make an entrance so don't worry about it. Want a snippet for next chapter?  
  
Snippet: Sesshomaru stared at the child on his bed. " Who are you?" he asked calmly. Though he knew the answer he was hoping that he was wrong. The girl looked at him and smiled.  
  
"My name's Anomie."  
  
Muahahahaah! What will Sesshy do to her? What will happen to Kagome? Will I ever find my slippers? FIND OUT NEXT CHAPPIE! 


	3. and enslaved my soul

"That stings!!" Anomie yelled as her mother rubbed the ointment over her face.  
  
"Think happy thoughts." She replied automatically as she began on the arms. Anomie grumbled. She was beginning to wish that she had never fetched the bag.  
  
"Damn ointments. Stupid concoctions. Fucking poison ivy." She said a bit too loud. Kagome froze. She dropped the ointment.  
  
"What did you just say?" she asked. Anomie gulped. She smelled anger.  
  
"I heard daddy say it!!" she said covering her bottom with her arms. Kagome had never hit her daughter but Inuyasha had given her a few spankings when she had misbehaved. She closed her eyes and her ears pressed against her head. Even if her mother had not spanked her, she was pretty good at yelling.  
  
"So this is what you learn? I should've known that his potty mouth would rub off on you. WHY THE HELL CAN'T PEOPLE CONTROL THEMSELVES AROUND CHILDREN? IT'S SO SIMPLE REALLY!! I DON'T BELIVE THIS! THOSE WORDS!! YOU'RE ONLY NINE! I- I-....." Kagome calmed down. She turned to Anomie.  
  
"If I EVER hear those words come out of you're mouth again you're going to get something." She said seriously.  
  
"Get what?" Anomie half asked, half whispered. Kagome shook her head. "You don't want to know." She replied.  
  
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Later that night Kagome put Anomie in the bed and stayed up all night to make sure there wouldn't be any more intrusions. She did not know that Ojai had stopped guarding her door but it didn't matter. By morning they would sneak out unnoticed. It was too late to leave now and Anomie needed her rest. Kagome was so glad that her own skin didn't break out in rash. She watched as her daughter's chest rose and fell.  
  
"I'm a horrible mother." She whispered to herself. "Look at what I'm putting you through. I wonder if you would have a better life without me. If you would become a better person if I weren't around." She said slowly. Anomie began to roll over in her bed. Her arms began thrashing the air.  
  
"Mommy? Where are you?" the girl cried out in her sleep, twisting and turning. Her face scrunched up in discomfort. Kagome crawled on the big bed and held her daughter. She stroked her long silver hair and whispered soothing words. Anomie relaxed instantly as her mother's soothing sent washed over her. She hugged her mother and fell back into peaceful sleep. Kagome smiled down at her daughter. Her eyes about to over flow with tears.  
  
"I wonder if you're nightmares are because of what I've done. I wonder if it's because of me."  
  
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Jaken found the next morning Sesshomaru in his office sipping green tea. Even though the lord was aware of Jaken's every move, the little servant still took caution into sneaking in.  
  
"What do you want?" Sesshomaru asked making Jaken freeze in place. He began to sake with fear, afraid of what was going to happen when he told the Lord of what would happen.  
  
"My L-l-lord, I have t-t-t-ta,"  
  
"Talk now or I shall kill you. You're stuttering is deeply annoying me." The lord interrupted. He was absorbed in his own thoughts about the behavior last night. It was no time to listen to the ranting of his idiot servant. Were the tears some trick of the wench? Had she done that t him? Then there was the feeling. The knowing that he had done something wrong and actually felt guilty about it. What did the humans call it? Being.ashamed? Yes. He was ashamed. Of what was another thought. Perhaps it was for almost killing the girl or keeping her here against her own will. Whatever the reason he was determined to find out. This effect that she had on him could be a weakness, and weakness was something he did not want and could not afford.  
  
"My Lord, the girl is gone."  
  
The words floated into his ears and struck something deep inside him. Suddenly he was standing, with Jaken pinned high against the wall.  
  
"What did you say?" he asked. His voice so low that it sounded like a growl. Without waiting for or expecting a reply, Sesshomaru dropped Jaken to the floor and walked out to his balcony. The sent of the world hit him like a hard blow to the stomach.  
  
His father had yet designed another ingenious tool. The windows were made so thick that they blocked out every scent that was not in the room. Often, the lord would keep the windows and doors open but had closed them the previous night in order to think better. He did not want the smell of blood, death, fear, anger, and fatigue to bother him as it did on a daily basis.  
  
Sesshomaru quickly recovered from the sudden intrusion of many scents. Then quickly sorting through them, he located the unusual calming sent of the girl. It was slightly traced with the scent of fear. Then he slightly turned his head to the left to identify another scent. Inuyasha.  
  
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Kagome and Anomie stopped running.  
  
"We did it! Boy was that a close one." Anomie said happily slightly panting. Her rash was fully gone, thanks to her youkai blood and her mother's modern medicine. Kagome didn't even nod as she plopped down on the floor and took in deep breaths. Her daughter ran so much faster than she did. She also had a lot more stamina.  
  
"We're.. .not safe.. yet." Kagome said in-between breaths. She knew that Sesshomaru could travel this far a distance in less than thirty seconds.  
  
"You're right. You're not safe yet." Came a new voice. Kagome looked up in horror as she recognized the voice. Unable to speak, the young girl only stared. Not until her daughter say the one word did Kagome snap out of her frozen terror. The one word that Anomie could say fondly yet at the same time reminded the mistake that Kagome had made so long ago.  
  
"Daddy?"  
  
Inuyasha smirked. It felt good to hear his daughter call him that again. He held up a piece of tattered cloth.  
  
"Hey princess," he said with affection. "This belongs to you." He said. Anomie looked down to her sleeve and saw the tear.  
  
"I must have ripped it when I was hiding in the bush." She said. Anomie took a step towards her father.  
  
"Anomie run." Kagome said suddenly. Anomie stopped dead in her tracks.  
  
"But why?" she asked.  
  
Inuyasha scowled. " Leave the girl alone, Kagome. She has a right to hug her father." He said. Kagome scowled at him.  
  
"NOW you want to be a father?" she asked spitefully. Inuyasha winced.  
  
"I want another chance." He said, his voice suddenly soft.  
  
"I know I hurt you and I know I wasn't there for Anomie put I want another chance with my daughter. I don't want her to grow up without a father figure. Like I did." He said sadly.  
  
Kagome huffed. "I'm sorry Inuyasha. I really am, but as long as you're with Kikyo I just can't trust you for her safety. How can I trust you? After all that you've done to me." She whispered. Kagome got up and dusted her skirt off.  
  
"Let's go Anomie." She said quietly. When she heard no reply she turned in search of her daughter.  
  
Yet Anomie was nowhere to be found.  
  
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After giving Jaken some orders, Sesshomaru prepared to leave. He did not go right away because of many reasons. Mainly he wanted to gather his thoughts. He could always kill his brother and drag the girl back later. Though time was not really on his side.  
  
He stood on the balcony ready to run in the direction of the scent when a sudden blue and white blur passed right by him and onto his bed.  
  
'I knew it,' he thought to himself. 'My senses are dulled.' And it was true. If Sesshomaru was acting normally then he would of sensed the thing from miles away. He turned around.  
  
Sesshomaru stared at the child on his bed. " Who are you?" he asked calmly. Though he knew the answer he was hoping that he was wrong. The girl looked at him and smiled.  
  
"My name's Anomie."  
  
How obvious it was to him. The scent, the hair, the eyes, and the ears. This was Inuyasha and the wench's child. 


	4. against my will

Sorry readers!! I know this story has been a standstill for quite a while but I didn't know how to start the next chappie!! But I got it now so read and enjoy!  
  
Nine years ago:  
  
It was dark outside. At least three am. Morning would be here and soon all the people of the small village would wake and go about their daily duties. Yet tonight, in one small hut there were people awake. Frantically dealing with a situation that life threw at them without warning. The birth of a child.  
  
"Push, child push." Kaede instructed. She was crouched in-between Kagome's open legs, her hands steady and waiting. Sango sat next to Kagome, grasping the girl's hand and slightly wincing whenever she squeezed. Periodically she would wipe Kagome's forehead with a cloth and smile reassuringly. She was slightly worn out since they had been doing this for over five hours. Though she needed and wanted to be there for her friend.  
  
"You're almost there." She would say.  
  
Kagome laid there, hair damp and messy, face sweaty and eyes clenched with concentration. She was taking deep fast breaths and muttering under her breath.  
  
"Never again," she said between breaths. "I'm going to sit him into," she breathed again "the next century." She finished.  
  
"Push." Kaede said. Kagome arched her back, squeezed Sango's hand and screamed as she pushed with all her might. When she was too tired to continue she collapsed back down unto the futon and began her breathing again.  
  
"I hate men." She said. Sango flashed her another smile.  
  
"You'll hate them too, when your turn comes." Kagome said harshly. For Sango was pregnant of seven months with Miroku's child.  
  
"Ye are nearly there." Keade said. "Now push!"  
  
Kagome once again arched her back, squeezed Sango's hand and screamed with all her might. Such a scream that birds flew from trees and nearby animals scurried away.  
  
Then there was silence. Until finally the sound of a small child crying, cut through the air. And it was over. Anomie had been born.  
  
The next day:  
  
"Any sign of him?" Kagome asked worried, as Miroku and Shippo entered the hut. "No." Miroku said sadly. " I've searched the forest and many villages over but he wasn't there."  
  
"I couldn't pick up his scent, Kagome!" Shippo cried. "I'm really sorry."  
  
Kagome nodded. "That's alright." She said, her voice disappointed. She held up her sleeping daughter and smiled at her tiny figure, wrapped warmly in a blanket.  
  
Sango came out of Keade's hut angrily. "If you would just let me come along, then we could find Inuyasha!" she said. Miroku held her gently.  
  
"No wife of mine will go riding around on a flying cat while pregnant with my child." He said firmly. Sango looked up at him with defiance in her eyes but as he leaned in for a slow kiss she soon smiled and kissed back. He hugged her and ran his finger through her hair.  
  
Kagome watched with wanting eyes. She wanted to be held like that. To be loved like that. Yet the man she wanted this from was nowhere to be found. Kagome held her baby close to her heart and sighed. "Daddy will be home soon." She whispered.  
  
Seven years later:  
  
Kagome set down the rice on the small table. "Anomie, wash your hands for dinner!" she called.  
  
Anomie ran into the house, hands, face, and clothes streaked with mud. She was giggling madly as she ran behind her mother and grasped her leg.  
  
"Look mommy!" she cried. "A look-alike monster!"  
  
Kagome smiled fondly but rolled her eyes. "Shippo stop playing. Come in and you can have some dinner too." She said knowingly. Even though he was sixteen now, he still had the heart of a child.  
  
"No," Anomie said, giggling again. "Shippo went home early today! There's another one." She said.  
  
"Oh?" Kagome said. Who was this new friend her daughter had made. "And what's the monster's name?" she asked.  
  
Someone stepped into the hut. His long white hair trailing behind him. The beads around his neck rattled and the sword at his side made a small clink sound.  
  
"Inuyasha." He said. A confidant smiles on his face.  
  
Now, in the present: The past hurt Kagome. Leaving a scar that would never heal. Inuyasha had abandoned his child, only to return seven years later. Kagome, not even asking a single question took him back with open arms. She was just so happy to have a complete family again that she was totally blind about the real situation.  
  
For two years after he had returned, he had been distant towards Kagome. And so one day when Anomie was with Sango and her son, Dereku, Inuyasha had told Kagome the truth.  
  
His heart belonged to Kikyo. Yet because she was not of real human flesh, she could not conceive his child. So that one night of passion, that he had spent with Kagome was only for the sake of his true love and his soon-to-be- born child.  
  
He had given Kagome seven years to love and raise her child but now that he eager to be with his daughter, he was ready to take her back and raise her with Kikyo.  
  
So Kagome did the most sensible thing she could. She fled with her child. She knew that Inuyasha was way stronger than her and if he chose to take Anomie by force, then she would lose.  
  
Yet here she was, searching the forest for her daughter with the man who wanted to take away her only child.  
  
"MOMMY! HELP!" there was a sudden cry as Anomie slammed into her mother at full force, sending them both flying back.  
  
Kagome was winded for a few seconds but her child's plea for help brought her around.  
  
"What? What's wrong?"  
  
Inuyasha stood in front of them, with Tetsuiga drawn towards the bushes where Anomie had came running.  
  
"How sweet." Rang a cold voice as Sesshomaru walked into view. "A hanyou protecting his mate and offspring."  
  
Inuyasha snorted. " You got the offspring part right. Though I couldn't care less about the bitch. She aint my mate."  
  
That statement sent a jolt up Sesshomaru's spine again. Though he hid his emotion well, he could not hide the amount of pleasure that showed in his eyes. Yet he didn't totally believe it.  
  
So, with his godly-like speed he moved behind Kagome and picked her up by her neck, making Anomie fall on the ground. Kagome froze, her only goal was to breathe and keep on breathing. He could easily snap her neck at this position.  
  
He closely examined the nape of Kagome's neck yet could not find two small punctures on either side.  
  
'She hasn't been marked.' He thought. 'But had his child. Why?'  
  
Anomie screamed and ran behind her father. "Let mommy go!" she yelled.  
  
"Yeah," agreed Inuyasha. "You wouldn't want her. She complains too much." He said.  
  
Kagome scowled at him and begin to squirm. "Sit." She said.  
  
Inuyasha only smiled and watched, as Kagome's eyes grew wide. He didn't crash into the ground and curse as he usually did, but instead stood there looking as confident as ever. Inuyasha grabbed the spell beads around his neck.  
  
"It seems that you're incarnation is linked to you in more ways than you know." He said. He snapped it off his neck and the beads all clattered to the ground. "She broke the spell. What a woman."  
  
Anomie began hitting her father's leg. " Get mommy back!" she yelled. Her eyes brimming with tears. Inuyasha crouched down to his daughter and smiled affectionately.  
  
"Mommy is fine." He lied. " So how about me and you go for a little trip? It'll be fun." He said. Anomie looked at her father then to her mother.  
  
"Anomie ru-" Kagome was cut off by Sesshomaru who dramatically increased his grip on her neck.  
  
"I've had enough." He said. " I still have plenty I must know and the wench is coming with me. If I ever detect you or the runt's presence on my land again, I will kill you." And with that he was speeding off towards his home again, still holding Kagome's neck with an iron grip.  
  
"Don't worry, Kagome!" Inuyasha called to her as he picked up Anomie. "I'll take good care of my little girl!" Anomie began crying and reaching out for her mother who was getting farther away each second.  
  
"Wait mommy!" she cried. Inuyasha held her back and tried to comfort her.  
  
The last Kagome saw were the tears falling from her daughter's eyes. She reached out to reach her and hold her. Ignoring the pain in her neck and the tears blurring her own vision.  
  
"Anomie." She choked out, before it was too much. She couldn't speak, she couldn't breathe, and she couldn't see as suddenly her world went dark. 


	5. you have stolen my heart

Kagome slowly opened her eyes. She knew exactly where she was and how she had gotten there. Mainly because the situation with Inuyasha in the forest had been replaying itself over and over again. And instead of waking up sad or scared, she woke up completely and utterly angry.  
  
Kagome sat up off the bed, her head swimming slightly and looked around. She was in a different room, with no balcony this time but there were windows. One was open and as she went to look out of it she saw that it overlooked the ocean and that there were sharp rocks jutting out of the shore below.  
  
"Smart." She said as she narrowed her eyes. She went to the small door at the other side of the room and opened it, unsurprised to see Ojai there.  
  
"Take me to Sesshomaru, NOW!" she demanded. He smiled and nodded and began walking down the hallway, Kagome in tow. They took many twist and turns into the corridor and sometimes went through doors that led to other hallways.  
  
By the time Ojai had stopped in front of two large oak doors, Kagome's anger had subsided a bit. Yet that didn't stop her from busting the doors open and marching in. Only then, she wished she hadn't.  
  
There Sesshomaru was. Shirtless and sweaty. His back was turned to Kagome but she could still make out a well-built form under his long white soft hair.  
  
Kagome turned on the balls of her heels and looked at Ojai angrily, even though she was blushing.  
  
Before she could get one angry word out of her mouth he spoke before her.  
  
"You said you wanted me to take you to him now. So I obeyed. Right now he's in training." He said. Then he winked and was gone.  
  
"Your awake." Sesshomaru said calmly from behind. Kagome turned around and faced him, blushing more furiously when the first thing she saw was his bare muscled chest just inches away from her. Instead of looking up her gaze went steadily down from there.  
  
That is until he picked her chin up with his hand and whipped her head up to meet his eyes. "I'm up here." He said.  
  
Kagome suddenly remembered she was angry with him and slapped his hand away. "YOU!" she shouted. "You take me back there right now and let me get my daughter back!"  
  
Sesshomaru turned away from her and picked up a sword off a small table near him. Examining the blade he gave a small firm nod in approval and turned back to Kagome.  
  
"I suggest you calm down and change your tone when speaking to your Lord."  
  
"SCREW CALM!" Kagome shouted back not even caring that he held a dangerously sharp katana.  
  
"You can't just pick me up and own me! I have my own life and I am my own person! So screw calm and screw you too!" she said.  
  
She turned towards the door and began walking but was thrown aside ungracefully to the wall. Sesshomaru pinned his body up against hers and held her there. He moved his face in so close that their noses were almost touching.  
  
"Never talk to me in such a way and turn your back. I am your better and you shall show me the utmost respect. Furthermore you are in MY lands making you MY possession. I shall do with you, whatever I please." He said in such a low menacing voice that it sounded like a growl. Infact his body was gently vibrating with a deep sound.  
  
Kagome being so close to him felt his warmth against her skin and shuddered slightly. What had she gotten herself into?  
  
-------------- -------------------- ----------------------- ---------------- -------- --------------------------  
  
"But I want to meet mommy now!" Anomie yelled for at least the twentieth time.  
  
Inuyasha had his ears flattened against his head and his face in his hands. "Your acting like a spoilt brat, you know that?"  
  
"And your acting like a-" she suddenly clamped her hand over her mouth. Her mother told her not to say bad words or else she's get something. And she didn't want it.  
  
Inuyasha's ears perked up at the sudden quietness. He lifted his face up and stared at his daughter. "Why so quiet now?" he asked suspiciously.  
  
"Mommy said no more being bad." Anomie said, unclamping her mouth. Inuyasha rolled his eyes.  
  
"Figures she'd smother you with her goody two shoes motherly nature. Can't people have freedom of speech around kids?" then his ear perked in a direction to his left and he sniffed and smiled.  
  
"She's here." Inuyasha said happily, standing up.  
  
"Who?" Anomie asked innocently curious.  
  
"Your new mother." ----------------- ----------------------------------------- ---------------- ---------- ------------------------  
  
Sesshomaru backed off Kagome and took a step backwards so that she could stand on her own weight again.  
  
His blood was rushing at the near closeness of her. Her scent washing over him and exciting him. He should just skip all the bull shit and take her right there and now, but he had more self-control than that. And there were a few more questions that needed to be answered.  
  
Such as why did her scent make his heart skip a beat and his body shakes involuntarily? Why had she given birth to a child, with a man who did not love her or take her as his wife? And why in the hell was he sparing her pathetic human life? Usually he would have killed her without a second thought. She was dangerous. She made his head spin and his senses dull. She was loud and disrespectful. So why did he bring her here? Why did he deny her and himself the privilege and relief of setting her free and making sure their paths never crossed again?  
  
"Look," Kagome said tiredly. She had been through enough. All she wanted to do now was relax. "All I want is my daughter. I need to know if she's safe or not." She said with pleading eyes.  
  
"Do you really think Inuyasha would kill his own child?" Sesshomaru asked bored. She was being stupid about the situation. Her daughter was with her real father. And hadn't he heard that Inuyasha promised to take care of her? So why in hell was she fretting?  
  
"Inuyasha is a careless blind bastard and there is no way I'm letting my daughter be around his precious Kikyo." She said somewhat spitefully. Was she jealous?  
  
"Humph." Sesshomaru said finally understanding. "You're envoius. All you want is to receive attention from my brother. The kind he gives to his own wench. You care nothing about the girl but you merely use her as a way to seek attention."  
  
Kagome's eyes flashed angrily. "That's untrue! I love my daughter with my heart and soul! She's all I have left and I'll be damned if I'll give her up to the likes of him." She said. She gave Sesshomaru a determined look. " I would rather die first."  
  
Sesshomaru suddenly held the tip of his katana near her heart. She stiffened considerably and her mouth set into a grim line as she stared at the sword. She backed herself against the wall and breathed slowly.  
  
"Care to test that theory out?"  
  
----------------- -------------------------------- ------------------------- ------ ---------------------------- Kikyo was crouched down on her knees sitting in front of Anomie. They were staring at each other quite seriously. Actually Kikyo was smiling but Anomie was staring. Inuyasha was standing nearby expecting them to hit it off immeadiatly.  
  
"Who the hell is she?" Anomie asked her father, still looking at Kikyo.  
  
"Your new mother, Princess. This is Kikyo but you can call her mommy or mom." He said simply.  
  
This time Anomie looked up to her father. "But.she's not my mommy. She's ugly. She smells different and I don't like her." She said truthfully.  
  
"Anomie!" Inuyasha yelled warningly.  
  
"It's alright, Inuyasha." Kikyo said still smiling. "She'll warm up to me in time." She said standing up and hugging him.  
  
Anomie rolled her eyes. Right then and there she didn't care what her mother would say or do to her. She wanted to use every colorful word that she had ever heard from her father.  
  
"Listen BITCH!" she said to Kikyo. Both adults turned and looked at her, shocked. "I don't give a DAMN who you are. You are not my mommy, never was my mommy and never will be my mommy so you can just kiss my ASS and go to HELL." She then turned to her father. "Get this WENCH out of my FUCKING face before I make a new hole for her to breathe through."  
  
Then she smiled cutely and laughed. Inuyasha's eye was twitching in anger and surprise, while Kikyo narrowed her eyes at the young girl.  
  
"Now I am positive she is your daughter, Inuyasha." Kikyo said smiling at him. "I only wish that I was her true mother. For such a mouth like hers would never speak if I could discipline the child."  
  
Inuyasha scowled down at his daughter and grabbed her wrist. He began pulling her towards a tree stump that was close by.  
  
"No need." He said. "I'll do it for you."  
  
Anomie gulped and tried to pull away. She was really in for it now.  
  
------------------------ -------------------- ------------------------------ --- ------------------------------  
  
Ok done. I know this chappy was a bit weird but I had to do it. I loved writing about shirtless Sesshomaru. (LOVE that demon) and I loved writing about Anomie cursing to Kikyo. (HATE that bitch) every curse word in caps is a word she learned from her father (duh) Next chappy will be out soon..perhaps in a week, tops. Ja ne! 


	6. and broken it into shards

It was simple. All Sesshomaru needed to do was threaten the girl's life. Then watch as she would beg for him to spare her and just by the look in her eyes, he would be able to tell if she was scared for her won life or for her daughter's.  
  
Kagome's eyes began to tear up but she bit her lip to hold them back. Her mind was on the situation at hand but her heart was with her daughter. 'What's happening to you?' she thought worriedly. She swore by god that if they touched one innocent hair on her precious child's head, she would..she would...She wouldn't have the ability to do anything. She was useless. Helpless. She was stupid and naive and the thought of her daughter accepting someone else as a mother was unbearable.  
  
Uncaring if she was stabbed or not Kagome slunk down to the floor, making the sword make one long rip up her shirt. Sesshomaru moved the sword away, in surprise at her sudden movement. He watched as she hugged her knees and cried. She was tired of crying! Tired of being and looking so pathetic. But she couldn't help it. The tears kept coming and falling. She couldn't stand the pain....  
  
And there it was again. The spine tingling, the watery eyes, and now his heart was racing. He watched her small frame shake with sobs. Then a new feeling rose up in his chest. Another feeling that he could not identify. He had never felt like this before. He felt sorry for her. Angry at his brother and himself for making her cry. Shameful at his cold behavior towards her. And he felt a need to make her feel better.  
  
He crouched down so that he was just inches above her. And gently, yet carefully placed his hand on the top of her head. Kagome jumped a bit and slightly looked up at him, in surprise.  
  
Her red puffy eyes and the tears rolling down her cheeks made Sesshomaru's heart ache. He moved his hand slowly down the length of her hair and over again.  
  
Kagome saw the saddened expression on his face and the glisten of un-fallen tears in his eyes. She was still mad at him. She still hated him for the more pain he had caused. Her bottom lip quivered as more tears fell. Though as much as she despised him she needed comfort. She needed to be held. And so she sprang to Sesshomaru, crying her heart out on his chest.  
  
He was so surprised by this that he didn't move for a few moments. Until finally he brought his strong arms around her and held her there, resting his chin atop her head. She fit perfectly with him. Holding her just felt right. Her scent calmed and soothed him.  
  
He knew then that he could never let her go. She gave him a feeling that made him at peace. It felt strange and new to him but he liked it. And was naturally curious as to what other feelings she could bring out of him.  
  
Slowly the ice around his heart was beginning to melt.  
  
----------------------------- ------------------------------------- -------- --------------------------- -----  
  
"I hate you."  
  
"Hate is a strong word, Princess. You don't mean it."  
  
The two were sitting against the wall of a hut where Inuyasha lived with Kikyo. It was in a beautiful clearing where many wild flowers grew. The village where Sango and Miroku lived with their two children wasn't very far.  
  
Inuyasha was sitting with his eyes closed but he was alert for any danger. Kikyo had gone off to heal some villagers.  
  
Anomie lay on her stomach with her head on her hands, the tears drying on her face. She was too soar to sit on her behind.  
  
"Yes I do. I hate you and I hate the lady. I want my mommy."  
  
"Kikyo is your mommy."  
  
"No. Kagome is my mommy! I WANT MY MOMMY!" she yelled. This only got her another slap on the bottom by Inuyasha, who still had his eyes closed.  
  
"Ow!" she cried.  
  
Inuyasha opened his eyes and looked at her angrily. "Stop it. Stop the whinin and the complainin. Stop the yellin and stop bein an all out fuckin spoiled brat."  
  
" I hate you."  
  
" The feeling is becoming mutual, Princess."  
  
"Don't call me that. My name is Anomie Amaya Higurashi!"  
  
Inuyasha rolled his eyes. " Look your not going back to Kagome. But I will give you a treat if you behave yourself."  
  
Anomie looked at him suspiciously. "Like what?" she asked.  
  
Inuyasha got up and stretched a bit. Then gently gave his daughter a tap on the head. "Don't ask questions. Just follow." He said and began walking towards the village.  
  
Anomie got up slowly, careful not to do anything that would make her backside ache further and followed her father obediently.  
  
They walked through the forest in silence. The sound of a brook running and bugs chirping calmed Anomie. Even though her mind was racing.  
  
'Maybe I'll just run away. I remember where they are. I could save mommy and then we'd go and visit grandma and uncle Souta. And grandma could protect us.' She thought happily.  
  
Anomie slowed down and let Inuyasha walk up a bit farther. She was just about ready to turn and run when Inuyasha called.  
  
"We're here!"  
  
So in innocent curiosity, Anomie ran a bit more forward. She came out of the edge of the forest and gasped. 


	7. the pain blinds me

Sorry but I've decided to do another flashback before Anomie was born and I'm hating myself for it. -_-'  
  
Nine years ago:  
  
"Kagome?" Sango called as she came out of Kaede's hut. She found her friend sitting outside staring at the stars.  
  
"Kagome it's getting cold. Come inside." She said. The poor girl had been sitting outside for hours, waiting for Inuyasha to come back to wherever he had gone.  
  
"That's alright, Sango. I'll come in a little bit. I'm fine." She said with a dreamy tone. You could never see the stars like this in the future. It was always too bright.  
  
"Ok, but don't stay out too long. You could get sick." Sango warned and returned inside.  
  
Kagome nodded and hugged her knees. It was so peaceful here. So beautiful and simple. She could live here...stay here forever...with Inuyasha.  
  
"She's right, you know." Inuyasha whispered from behind her. Kagome jumped. She didn't even hear him coming. He sat behind her and opened his legs so that he could scoot up and hold her from behind.  
  
"So I'll help you keep warm." He said sweetly. Kagome blushed slightly.  
  
"Where'd you go?" she asked softly.  
  
"I had to take care of some things." He replied distantly. He held her tighter and rested his chin on her shoulder. "But I'm here now."  
  
"Kagome"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Kagome, I'm sorry." Inuyasha said. "I'm sorry for all the things I've done to you. And I'm sorry for all the bad things that may happen to us in the future."  
  
Kagome giggled a bit. "It's alright. As long as I have my friends and you then I'll be happy." She whispered back. She watched as a shooting star soared across the night sky and smiled.  
  
"I wish I could touch the stars." She said absentmindedly smiling. Inuyasha stared at her for a moment before pushing away and getting up.  
  
Kagome looked as he began to walk away towards the woods.  
  
He stopped and looked at her. "Well?" Inuyasha asked. "Are ya comin' or not?"  
  
Kagome stood up too and dusted off th back of her skirt. "But where are you going?" she asked.  
  
Inuyasha stuck out his hand to her and smiled "To touch the stars."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A/N: we'll get back to that flashback next chappie. ~Still hating this chapter~  
  
Now in the present:  
  
Ojai walked into the training room with breakfast on a tray, smiling happily. What he found was just what he wanted to see.  
  
Sesshomaru leaning against a wall staring into space, with the girl in his arms. And to make it better he was smiling!  
  
"Congratulations My Lord!" he yelled as he walked over and set the tray down.  
  
Sesshomaru frowned and raised an eyebrow. "Explain yourself."  
  
"You and the girl, my lord. Finally together, just as I'd hoped. A little quickly, if I might add." Ojai said beaming.  
  
"She's sleeping." Sesshomaru informed. "I have been doing nothing in here but listen to her cry and ramble in her sleep." He looked bored and careless, as if he had more important things to do. The truth was he was fine and content just where he was.  
  
Ojai frowned. "Oh." He said a bit sadly. He set down the breakfast and turned to leave.  
  
"Ojai," Sesshomaru called him back. "Why are you disappointed?" he asked curious.  
  
Ojai turned on the balls of his heels. "Well milord, you see.....it's like this. How long have we known each other?"  
  
"Since my birth."  
  
" And how long have you been alone?"  
  
Sesshomaru shook his head. "I have never been alone. My servants are always at my beck and call."  
  
"Yes Milord. That is true but I mean....you've been alone for a long time. One should never be without an equal." Ojai replied looking at the girl. "She has a fire in her eyes. Young and passionate. Pure and strong. When I look into her eyes I see you, Milord."  
  
"Nonsense. She is weak." Sesshomaru said distastefully.  
  
"She is wounded. And she is alone." Ojai corrected. "Being hurt by something so bad that you cannot stand to even think about it, is not being weak. It means you have a soul. You know this more than anyone." He said.  
  
Sesshomaru looked angry. "I hope you are not referring to-"  
  
Ojai bowed. "No disrespect by interrupting you, Milord but as a great man once said, 'Everything I do is for the sake of the one I love.'" And with that, Ojai turned and left.  
  
"Humph." Sesshomaru said still staring at the doorway. Kagome began to stir and he looked down at her in interest. Was she finally waking up?  
  
"How c-could." She murmured. She looked as if she was about to cry in her sleep.  
  
"How c-could." She said again, louder this time. Her face scrunched up in discomfort as she began to squirm in his grasp.  
  
"How could what?" Sesshomaru asked. What was wrong with her? Was she sick?  
  
Kagome's eyes flew open. Both pupils the color of pure pink.  
  
"How could you?" she asked.  
  
There was a large boom and suddenly everything surrounding Sesshomaru's mansion was erased in pink light.  
  
--------------------------------------- ------------------------------------ --------------------------------  
  
Ok so I left you with three cliffhangers. I'm sorry.  
  
What did Anomie gasp at in the clearing? What happened to Sesshy's mansion? Why do I hate this chapter?  
  
Next chapter will be so wrong and sad that I want to hit myself for writing it. JA! 


	8. the truth hurts me

-_- Here we go. This chapter is slightly longer because of an added bonus. Actually this doesn't seem as bad as I made it sound....It seemed worse in my head....sowwy! lol  
  
Nine years ago (again):  
  
"Oh Inuyasha, it's beautiful." Kagome said. There they sat, at the top of a hill staring up at the night sky. Kagome felt so close to the stars that she could reach out and grab one.  
  
Then as far as Kagome could see, there was a field of wildflowers gently swaying with the night wind. Fireflies seemed to light up the field making it seem too beautiful to be real.  
  
Inuyasha sat next to her and slowly reached out to her hand. "Do you really like it?" he asked. " I was planning on...settling down here." He said slowly. Should he really be saying all this to her?  
  
Kagome looked at him. "It would be a great place to live. There's lots of room." She said thoughtfully. If she could pick any place to live then it would be right here. She was sure of it.  
  
"It may be even fun to raise a family." Inuyasha said all too quickly. All Kagome heard was a blur of words.  
  
Kagome giggled. "Inuyasha do you sound so nervous?"  
  
The last word barely slipped out of Kagome's mouth when Inuyasha suddenly grabbed her, pulled her forward and gave her a deep and heated kiss. Then as quickly as he started, he pushed her away blushing madly. The kiss was only a brief moment. But it would be one that would last forever.  
  
Kagome held her face in her hands as she blushed the same shade of red as Inuyasha, perhaps redder.  
  
No one said anything for a few seconds. Inuyasha would look at Kagome and dart his eyes away and Kagome would do the same. Their hearts were rapid and faces both showed slight embarrassment with a little grin.  
  
Finally their eyes locked and neither was able to look away. Now Kagome realized how close they were next to each other. She was frightened, she had always wished for his love and affection but now that something like that had actually happened she felt sick with nervousness. What would happen now?  
  
"K-......" Inuyasha started to speak but stopped to swallow. This was crazy. The emotions that he was feeling right now, the thoughts that were running through his mind, and the way Kagome looked much more beautiful when her cheeks were slightly pink and her hair gently blowing in the wind were things that felt foreign to him.  
  
Never had he felt this way. Not even with Kikyo. The person he was doing this for. It scared him and he never liked being afraid. He could never handle the feeling of being uncertain about something. It drove him crazy. Kagome drove him crazy because of the uncertainty she always filled him with. Why was she so nice for no reason? What did she want from him? She seemed so easy to trust and to like. To even love. She was too innocent and too pure to be true. She filled him with doubt that she would easily turn on him and that's what made him push her away.  
  
He needed to be certain of everything. To know what he was feeling and thinking. That's why he needed Kikyo. And to his relief, he was certain of that.  
  
"Kagome." He finally choked out. "Kagome, Everything I do is for the sake of the one I love." He said slowly. As if trying to remember and recite something. "So please, don't ever hold it against me."  
  
Kagome stared at him for a long moment. Time seemed to stop and she caught her breath. What was he saying? Did that actually mean....did that actually mean that he loved her?  
  
She couldn't think anymore. She couldn't breathe or talk or move. Yet she found the courage to do so.  
  
Slowly, ever so slowly the two leaned in for a kiss.  
  
It lasted much more than a brief moment.  
  
----------------------------------- ---------------------------------------- -------------------------------  
  
The present:  
  
Kagome screamed as she rolled away, off Sesshomaru's lap and onto the floor. He was gazing at her with an almost surprised expression. What made it even stranger was that after she moved, he did not respond. He still stared in the same spot with the same expression.  
  
Kagome breathed heavily, hand gripping her chest. She didn't know what had happened. All she could remember was that she was having a nightmare. She could see Anomie slowly fading away from her. Out of her grasp. She was trying to run, to reach and hold her but the girl had disappeared completely.  
  
Then she suddenly heard the words "Everything I do is for the sake of the one I love." And memories came flashing back. Touching the stars and smiling happily. Being so fulfilled that the fact of Inuyasha was there with her.  
  
He had changed so much over the years. His heart grew colder towards her. Like a door being shut in her face.  
  
Then as the memory ended she saw Inuyasha, holding Anomie's limp body in his hands. There was a devilish smirk on his face. Kikyo appeared by his side, gripping his arm. She too was smiling.  
  
Kagome brought her gaze down to her daughter and saw her head, rolled back and eyes closed. Her mouth was slightly parted. Her chest...she wasn't breathing. She wasn't moving.  
  
Anomie was dead.  
  
"No." Kagome breathed. She could feel herself shaking. "No." she said, her voice cracking and sounding teary. This was not true. Anomie was not dead and this was not the Inuyasha she knew.  
  
"How c-could" she managed to choke out as she tried to hold back tears. It was just a dream! It wasn't true!  
  
"How c-could" she said again.  
  
Inuyasha laughed. "How could what?" he asked. Though his voice did not fit him. It sounded more like Sesshomaru.  
  
Kagome looked into his eyes, her mouth set in a grim line. "How could you?" She had said and everything went pink.  
  
Then she had woken up. That was all that she had remembered. Kagome stood and inched towards Sesshomaru's statue figure. She touched his hair gently and saw that it still felt the same. Soft and silky. So what was wrong with him? Why was he frozen like ice but still felt naturally warm?  
  
Kagome didn't even wait around to think about it. Her daughter needed her. She could feel it.  
  
Kagome didn't even look back, as she ran from the mansion and into the forest.  
  
----------------- ------------------------- -------------------------------- ------------------------- ------  
  
"Tag, Dereku!"  
  
" Not uh! That's not fair!"  
  
Anomie began to run, dodging passing villagers and laughing happily. She hadn't seen Dereku in such a long time. He was her only friend. Besides his little brother, Rei.  
  
Her father had surprised her by taking her to Aunt Sango and Uncle Miroku's village for a little while. For a moment she was too distracted to think of her mother.  
  
Sango came out of her home and slowly sat down by Inuyasha. She mustn't try to upset her growing stomach, which was carrying her third child. Inuyasha was sitting Indian style with his sword against his shoulders. They both watched the children in silence.  
  
"She's grown so big." Sango said quietly. She was very well aware of the situation between Inuyasha and Kagome. And it pained her heart to see them like that. But she was keeping her promise to Kagome. She swore she would.  
  
"And I've missed most of it." Inuyasha gave a calm reply. "I swear on my life I won't miss another moment."  
  
Sango sighed and rubbed her stomach. "And Kagome? What about her?....is she well?"  
  
Inuyasha snorted and turned his head to the side. "I couldn't care less. My brother took her. Hopefully she's dead by now." He said almost scornfully.  
  
"You don't mean that, Inu-"  
  
"The hell I don't."  
  
"But she's the mother of your child!" Sango yelled. She was breathing hard, trying not to cry and slap him at the same time. She hated him. Hated him with all her heart and soul but as long as she lived she would keep her word to Kagome.  
  
Inuyasha closed his eyes. "Kikyo can be the mother of my child." He said softly. And for a while that was the last word.  
  
Sango stared at him and shook her head. She leaned back against the hut, carefully and watched Anomie tickle her youngest son while Dereku held him down.  
  
She wanted to kill Inuyasha. But she couldn't. Kagome's request was all she had left of her best friend. And it meant the world to her. Even if it made her want to cry and scream at the same time.  
  
-------------- --------------------------- ---------------------- ---------- ------------ --------------------  
  
The next day:  
  
Anomie awoke from her futon and stretched. She had a lot of fun playing with Dereku and Rei yesterday. She hoped today she could go again!  
  
She ran outside to greet her father but discovered that Kikyo was there instead. She stopped and scowled.  
  
"Good morning Ms.Kikyo" she said through clenched teeth. She had received a beating because of this woman, which only added to her dislike for her.  
  
"You are allowed to call me mother now, Anomie." She replied as she picked up an arrow. She was practicing her archery. A few feet away there was a tree with a tiny red dot in it.  
  
"No thank you Ms.Kikyo." Anomie said as she rolled her eyes. "Have you seen my father?" she asked. She didn't want to stay around her anymore.  
  
Kagome strung her arrow and aimed. "He went hunting for the day. You will stay with me. It will give us more time to.....talk." Kikyo released and the arrow went flying towards the tree, almost hitting the dot. It was only a few inches off. Shrugging slightly she strung another arrow.  
  
Anomie mentally cursed.  
  
" Do you want to know a secret, Anomie?" Kikyo asked as she aimed more carefully this time. If she was going to act she needed to act now. Her time was running out.  
  
Anomie sat down and visibly scowled. She wanted her mommy now and she wanted to go to the future and see grandma.  
  
"Anomie you must answer when you speak back to your mother."  
  
"YOUR NOT MY-" she stopped mid sentence. She was going to get in trouble again. How could she answer without making the woman tell her father?  
  
She got it.  
  
"My mother isn't here." She said in a falsely kind voice.  
  
Kikyo shot again and missed. But the arrow was much closer this time. She took her second to last arrow and strung it once again.  
  
"Well then. How unfortunate it will be when she forgets about you. Then she'll never see you again." Kikyo said almost carelessly.  
  
Anomie looked at the much older woman, suspiciously. "What are you talking about?"  
  
Kikyo aimed very carefully this time. "Everyone knows that when a mother spends too much time away from her child, that the mother forgets about her. The mother stops loving the child and won't care about her anymore." She said.  
  
"You're lying." Anomie replied simply.  
  
"I never lie." Kikyo said.  
  
"My mommy will never forget about me. She loves me too much."  
  
Kikyo shot but missed her mark completely. Hell. She even missed the tree. What the child had said took away her concentration.  
  
Love. What a joke. There was no such thing as love and she would prove it. There was only one thing that mattered in life and that was surviving.  
  
"Oh?" Kikyo said as she picked up her last arrow. She would not be surprised again. "Well don't you think it strange that she hasn't come for you yet?"  
  
Anomie didn't answer at this. That was strange...  
  
"And don't you think it strange that you haven't even been able to pick up her scent?" she asked as she strung the arrow one last time and aimed.  
  
Inuyasha had filled her in on what happened in the forest and had told her that since then, he hadn't picked up her scent.  
  
Again Anomie could not answer this. That was strange too...her mommy really wouldn't be forgetting about her, could she?  
  
"And I think it very strange that when your father took you away from her, she didn't even say a word." Kikyo said and shot. The arrow went speeding towards the dot.  
  
Anomie stared at the ground. She remembered calling out to her mother and that the other man had her....and then it looked like her mother went to sleep. She didn't even look worried or scared!  
  
Anomie panicked and ran towards the forest, following her father's scent. She was scared.  
  
Her mommy forgetting about her!  
  
Kikyo watched her leave and smiled a cold smile. She walked over to the tree and looked at what mark her arrow had hit.  
  
Bull's eye. ---------- --------------------------- ------------------------------------- ---- ---------------------------  
  
Ok that's it but here is a little extra. It's what Kagome made Sango promise:  
  
"Don't hate him, Sango." Kagome had said one late night. She had Anomie wrapped up in a hood and cloak and was carrying her. The young girl was asleep. "Please don't hate him." She begged.  
  
Sango had stood back, Miroku by her side. "Kagome look at what he's doing to you. Look what he ALREADY did to you!" she said angrily. "You don't have to run. You can stay and we can help-"  
  
"Protect me?" Kagome finished for her. She shifted her daughter's weight to her other shoulder. "I can't have people defend me all my life, Sango." She said pointedly.  
  
"Yes, but-"  
  
"I'll be fine. And I'll be back. Just keep your word to me and promise you won't blame Inuyasha for what both of us did." She said and began walking away. "I know I can't." she said more to herself than to the two of them and disappeared in the darkness of the forest.  
  
(SEE YOU NEXT CHAPTER!) 


	9. though it is clear now

" I don't want to hear it!"  
  
"But daddy listen to me!"  
  
"Anomie I said shut UP!"  
  
"But daddy I-"  
  
Inuyasha turned away from his daughter and crossed his arms. Anomie, knowing it was no use, stopped arguing and looked down sadly. He didn't even hear her out. All she said was that Kikyo was lying to her and he didn't want to hear another word of it.  
  
"Mommy would have listened." She whispered sadly. "She always listens to me."  
  
Inuyasha had enough. With a swift turn and grab he held his daughter by the front of her kimono.  
  
"Listen to me Anomie. Your mother doesn't care if you live or die. She may be kind and warm on the outside but she really doesn't care for your well being. In time, she'll forget about her obligations to you and wander away from you. So just forget about it." He didn't yell or sound angry when he said that. It was said with a different emotion that Anomie had understood right away.  
  
Anomie stared at her father with wide teary eyes. She wasn't very perceptive at her age but she knew that by her father's tone something horrible had happened to him. Tears slipped down her pink cheeks and onto the lush grass. Both for sympathy and pain. She didn't know what pain her father was feeling but it must of felt similar to the way she felt now.  
  
Hurt.  
  
"What did she do to you?" Anomie asked, her voice barely a whisper. "What did she do to make you so mad?"  
  
Inuyasha looked at her, crying. Now he felt guilty. But how could he make her understand? He let go of the front of her kimono and scooped her up in his arms. He carried her over to a willow tree and sat beneath it. Cradling her in his arms he rested his chin atop her head and hushed her.  
  
" Your mother didn't make me mad," he said in an unusual calm voice. "It's just that......." he sighed. How could he explain it to his child if he couldn't even explain it to himself? He never hated Kagome. She had raised his child with love and forgiven him when he had abandoned her. Her heart could never feel hatred towards anyone. Even for him. Deep down she cared for him even after everything he had ever said and done to her.  
  
"I'm scared," he finally confided. "I want to raise you and love you. I want to be the father I never had. But... what if I'm bad at it? What if I do something wrong and something happens? Could I ever handle such a responsibility of raising another life?" he said with a soft voice. Anomie laid her head against his chest and listened to his words and heartbeat at the same time.  
  
" And don't think that I never listen to you. I do. It's just that your givin' me a hard time and I just want you to relax. Stop complaining all the time, Anomie. It makes me feel as if I've wronged you somehow. And I get angry to feel that I'm failing you and that I'm not providing you with a life that you don't have to complain about. I love Kikyo but you are always number one in my heart. How could you not? You're my one and only child and I'm proud." He said.  
  
He realized then that she was no longer crying. In-fact she had fallen asleep in his strong and protecting grip. His heartbeat calmed her and his soft voice lulled her. Slowly he smiled and closed his eyes, joining his daughter in a peaceful slumber.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"I am so lost." Kagome muttered as she walked through the forest. Not for the first time, she wished more than ever that she could have senses like her daughter or Inuyasha. And not for the first time her wish wasn't granted.  
  
Sighing loudly she continued through the forest blindly walking in any direction. It was strange. Her stomach was tied up in knots and she had goose bumps all over her skin. It was like she was scared but she saw or felt nothing to be afraid of.  
  
Suddenly her legs gave way and she dropped to the floor. Her stomach seared in sudden and unbearable pain. She wrapped her arms around her torso and bowed her head, trying to control it. Until it was too much to handle and she gave an ear-splitting scream.  
  
She was dreaming again. She was exactly where she was now, but the corners of her vision were a hazy pink. Then with amazing speed and skill she had never possessed, Kagome moved through the forest with amazing grace.  
  
Within minutes (which would have taken her hours is she had walked) Kagome had reached the top of a hill that overlooked a vast field of wildflowers. Near the edge of the field was a large house. Not as huge as a mansion but big enough for a family to live in. Kagome turned her head to the side and suddenly the sky darkened. She was suddenly at the bottom of the hill and standing a few feet away from Inuyasha  
  
In his hands was Anomie's limp body.  
  
Inuyasha was smiling again. In-fact he was laughing. But as he did, tears were running down his cheeks.  
  
"You are going to die." He said in a stone cold voice. His laughing grew more hysterical as the tears fell more steadily. He threw his head back and laughed and laughed and laughed.  
  
Anomie stirred ever so slightly. She was still alive this time, yet Kagome could feel the life leaving her body. Inuyasha looked down at his daughter, his face serious and kissed her forehead. His tears fell on her cheeks and he smiled at her.  
  
"Don't worry, princess. I'll get rid of this so called mother." He said. He set the girl down and watched as her breath stopped.  
  
Once more she had died.  
  
Inuyasha turned towards Kagome. "I trusted you," he said angrily. "I swear I'll kill you for this."  
  
He charged at her, his claws raised. They were covered in blood.  
  
He was just about to strike her when suddenly a strong force slammed into her back, so hard her spine vibrated. She closed her eyes and opened them again only to find that she was back were she had started.  
  
The sky was blue again, Inuyasha and Anomie were no where to be seen and Sesshomaru was leaning on top of her, staring at her with crimson colored eyes that burned with fury. He was pissed more than ever.  
  
"I'm tired of you," he growled out. "You have been nothing but a mere nuisance since the time I met you."  
  
She struggled under his iron grip, trying to get free. Now she knew something was wrong. She needed to find her daughter and FAST!  
  
"LET ME GO!" she yelled.  
  
Sesshomaru raised his hand and gave her an almost bone shattering slap to the face. (Almost!) Her Jaw was already turning red. "For once in your pathetic life just remain silent." He growled. His heart was driving him crazy. While his mind shouted to end the girl right here and now, his heart ordered him to apologize and to listen to her. She needed him and he mustn't kill her. There were voices in his head telling him a million things to do at once.  
  
"Just be silent!" he yelled. His head was pounding ever since the girl's scream had shattered her spell over his mansion. Suddenly his head was quiet except for one loud voice that rang out. 'KILL HER!' it demanded. Sesshomaru growled and raised his claw. He would end it now! Pinning her more forcefully to the ground he growled and..... 


	10. I can't understand all of it

Jaken entered Sesshomaru's chambers quietly.  
  
"Lord Sesshomaru, I have return-" He stopped. Looking around, the small toad only noticed that the old servant, Ojai was there. He was looking out on the balcony, a worried expression on his face.  
  
"Back to work, slave!" Jaken yelled, jumping up and down. "My Lord will have your head when he finds you slacking off!"  
  
Ojai gave Jaken a skeptical look, and turned back to the outside scenery. "My Lord will not return if he does what I think he will do," he said calmly, "So cease your noise."  
  
Jaken, still yelling, stopped and eyed Ojai suspiciously. "What do you mean by 'not return'?" he asked.  
  
Ojai sighed. "He's gone mad. I would have myself if I hadn't protected myself at the last moment."  
  
"What are you talking about, old fool?" Jaken asked, impatiently. The man was delirious. He deserved to be executed for such lies.  
  
"Shut your mouth," Ojai said sternly. He suddenly looked stronger and stricter than he had in decades. " Were you not here when my Lord's castle was covered in a spell only to be shattered hours later by the horrible scream that carried pain and sorrow through the lands?" he asked.  
  
Jaken shook his head, no. Sesshomaru had sent him out on errands.  
  
"Then look closely. Besides Lord Sesshomaru and I, every other servant in the castle has nearly died due to insanity."  
  
Ojai trembled. "That spell. That horrible pink glow of light was the most terrible thing I have ever seen."  
  
Jaken opened his mouth to ask what he was talking about but Ojai continued.  
  
"Time froze," he explained. "Our hearts, slowed down. Our minds refused to think. We were trapped. Then, as sudden as it had happened, it ended when that painful scream reached my ears. I couldn't stand it. It was as if my brain had exploded and a thousand people were talking at once. I lost myself. I became everyone else in the entire world and completely lost myself." He shivered at the memory. "If I had not the power, I would be like the others inside. Tearing myself up to gain silence."  
  
Jaken gripped his staff tightly. "And my Lord? What happened to him?" he asked. What was this all about?  
  
Ojai sat, suddenly weary. "The voices are horrible. They command you. They take over your soul and drive you into death. The girl caused it. Kagome, her name was. As weak as she seems, she has the power the world has never known."  
  
Jaken stamped his foot. "Then I hope my Lord disposes of the wench!"  
  
"No!" Ojai cried. "You do not understand. HE does not understand. To kill her would mean sure disaster. She is the only one who can undo what she as done. With out her...." He trailed off.  
  
"What is it, old man? What will happen without her!?" Jaken yelled.  
  
Ojai looked worn and beaten. "My Lord shall remain in madness until the end of his days."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Kagome winced as Sesshomaru's fist drove into the forest floor with such a force that the ground around her seemed to shake. He had missed her head only by inches. She laid there, stiff and frightened.  
  
Sesshomaru wobbled. His head was killing him. Those voices. So many voices screaming in his head! All of them seemed to want his attention and shouted over each other, trying to be heard first. He was so tired. He felt as if his energy was being drained.  
  
"Silence." He ordered and fell to the side, off of Kagome and lost consciousness. The idea of sleep sounded good to him.....  
  
*  
  
He awoke hours later to find that it was dark. Somehow he was outside and his body was aching all over. He sat up with a groan to find that there was a small campfire burning.  
  
"Oh! Don't move yet!" Kagome yelled and ran over, a damp cloth in her hand. She gently pressed it to his forehead, helping him sit up.  
  
Sesshomaru stared at her for a few moments before twisting away. He leaned himself against the bark of a tree, and avoided looking at her.  
  
Kagome frowned and shrugged, going over to the fire and beginning to cook something. They sat there for a few minutes in uncomfortable silence, until Sesshomaru had to say something.  
  
"Why are you here?" he asked. He still refused to look at her.  
  
Kagome looked at him. When she saw that he would not look back she sighed. "What do you mean?" she asked softly.  
  
Sesshomaru closed his eyes. Those voices were still there but faintly. They were mere whispers now. " Didn't you mention that you want your daughter? Yet you have not left me here to go in search of her."  
  
As Kagome stirred the pot she dug through her bag. (I forgot to say she brought it with her -_-;) "Well, yeah that's true," she replied. "But I couldn't just leave you alone like that. You looked so sick."  
  
Sesshomaru finally rested his eyes on her. "I tried to kill you. Twice," he said, "How do you not abandon me after that?" She was confusing. Given the chance, he would have killed her long ago if he were in his right state of mind.  
  
Kagome smiled in spite of herself. That should have made her wake up and realize that he hated her. " I think I want to make it up to you," she confessed. "Even if I'm not exactly sure what I did. Besides no one deserves to be abandoned."  
  
He stared at her for a long moment until she looked back. He tried to stand up, but his back ached in disagreement. Kagome rushed over and steadied him, whispering comforting words as she would if he was Anomie.  
  
In rage, Sesshomaru slapped her hand away. Never had he felt so weak, and if it was one thing he absolutely despised, it was the weak and useless.  
  
"I can do it myself!" he snapped. "Don't pity me." As he shifted into a comfortable position, he noticed that the girl was staring at her hand, where he had slapped it away. Without another word, she got up and tended to the fire.  
  
"I wasn't giving you pity, I was helping," she said in a slightly angry voice.  
  
The voices in Sesshomaru's head got a little bit louder. He closed his eyes again, trying to drown out the voices.  
  
Kagome took her pot away from the fire. " I don't know why you have to be so mean," she mumbled. "You can't expect to ever have true respect with an attitude like that, My Lord," she said, mocking him with her last two words. As he anger increased so did the sounds of the voices.  
  
'Kill her, kiss her, love her, hurt her,' was a chant in his head. He clenched his eyes. "All of you, be silent," he whispered. What was happening to him? He had always been the calm and collected one. The one who had his emotions and thoughts in check. Never had he cried, or felt pity and pain. Until she came along.Kagome.  
  
'Kiss her, take her, hurt her, love her,' they chanted again. He watched as she poured some type of broth into a bowl and brought it over to him. His hands twitched.  
  
'Hold her,' a voice hissed. Sesshomaru grabbed her wrist, making her spill the broth onto the ground. 'Hurt her,' another said and he tightened his grip, making her cry out in pain.  
  
'KISS HER!' the last voice rang out, clear as a bell. So loud that it caused another vibration down his spine. He pulled her closed, closing all distance between them and gave her a hungry and passionate kiss.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Don't ya just hate me? Leaving all these cliffys behind and all? Well as long as you review, I can write and update faster than before! -_-; you don't have to (cuz sometimes I don't either) but it would be nice if you did. JA! ^.^V 


	11. but I know what I am starting to feel

Kagome was the one that broke their kiss first, gasping for air. Yet as soon as she did he pulled her back, longing for more. She tried fighting him off and pushing him away but gave up when his fang gently nipped her lip. His tongue slowly traced her bottom lip, asking for entrance and she obeyed. She slightly parted her mouth and he explored inside before feeling on her own tongue.  
  
Kagome broke away again, blushing and gasping at the same time. While they were kissing Sesshomaru had lightened his grip on her wrists and she used that opportunity to break away completely, as she stood up and dusted herself off.  
  
He sat there, a confident smirk on his face. The voices had disappeared as soon as his lips met hers. She had somehow cured him and he should have been thankful but couldn't help feeling smug about something. Perhaps those voices did a world of good for him...  
  
For long moments nothing happened. Then finally, Kagome picked the bowl and placed it by the fire. She grabbed another one and filled it with the same kind of broth that she had before and slowly walked near him. When she was just one step out of his arm's reach she stopped.  
  
"No kissing," she warned. His smirk slowly grew into a smile. Kagome gave him a quizzical look as she set down with the bowl and spoon and began to blow on it.  
  
"Now would you like me to feed you or would you prefer doing it yourself?" she asked. She was still blushing. Sesshomaru took the bowl from her and stared down into it.  
  
"What is it?" he asked, his smile gone as he sniffed it.  
  
"Chicken broth."  
  
He gave it back to her. "I don't need human food."  
  
Kagome stared at him. "Are you sure? You seemed pretty si-"  
  
"I'm sure." He cut her off. He shifted again. His body was beginning to feel a lot better. He was slightly surprised that he wasn't fully healed already because of his demon blood.  
  
Kagome shrugged and began taking small sips of the broth. ' I must be out of my mind,' she thought. She knew that something bad was going to happen. She knew she had to find her daughter before those dreams came true. Yet here she was sipping broth and sitting with the cruelest lord in the western lands! He had tried to kill her twice and now he had kissed her! Maybe she wasn't the crazy one. Maybe Sesshomaru was the real one who was out of his mind.  
  
Kagome took too big a sip and began to choke and cough, sputtering out broth. Her eyes began to water and run. Though even after all the broth was out of her mouth she continued to cough. She couldn't breathe. She tried bringing in air but every time she did more coughs came from her mouth. The tears falling down her cheeks became a bright pink and as soon as two drops hit the ground she blacked out.  
  
'The last dream,' her minds voice said as a vast landscape opened before her. It was night and there was no moon in the sky. Using the agility and grace she only received in these dreams her feet took her back to the field of wildflowers.  
  
Kikyo stood there, her hands raised to the sky as she said words that were unknown to Kagome.  
  
Inuyasha was nowhere to be seen but Anomie was present. The young girl was hugging Kikyo around one of her legs as if scared of something. There was a blank expression on her face. Her eyes were dull and unemotional as if she saw nothing at all.  
  
"Don't forget me," Anomie whispered, her dull eyes watering. "Don't ever forget me,"  
  
The two seemed to glow a blood red as Kikyo began to chant louder, the words becoming clear.  
  
" Hold my hands and walk with me  
  
Entwine your soul with mine  
  
From the shores and to the seas  
  
Together an earthly bind  
  
Time itself shall stop for me  
  
Your heart shall beat with mine  
  
One life to last eternity  
  
Entwine your soul with mine!  
  
One shall prosper, as one shall die  
  
A price that must be paid  
  
No eyes to see no tears to cry  
  
A sacrifice is made  
  
Hold my heart and walk with me  
  
Entwine your life with mine  
  
A woman shall prosper, as a child shall die  
  
A new soul to last all of time!"  
  
Beneath the two the ground began to shake. Anomie let go of Kikyo's leg and the red aura around her was replaced by a brilliant white.  
  
"Don't forget me," she whispered again and as she did her soul, shining white because of her innocence and purity emerged from her body. It slowly glided over to Kikyo and touched the red aura, dissolving into it. Anomie hit the ground with a soft thump. Slowly her breathing came to a halt as she tried to say once more "Don't ever forget me." Her eyes closed slowly and two tears slipped down her small cheeks. The white aura disappeared from her body and she faded away into the grass.  
  
The ground stopped shaking. Kikyo's red aura had disappeared. She smiled as she walked over to the place where Anomie was laying, lifeless.  
  
"Thank you, Anomie. You have restored me to a full life. Your heart beats within my body."  
  
She bent down and touched the grass and it burned away, killing all of the flowers and few trees in the clearing. It dissolved and blew away with the wind. Kikyo walked away into the forest as the sun began to rise.  
  
"A woman shall prosper, as a child shall die. A soul to last all of time." She said and laughed.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kagome shot up with a start. She knew now what she had to do. Kikyo was up to something and she had a feeling it was going to happen on the night of no moon. She looked around to realize that she was still where she had made camp to help take care of Sesshomaru.  
  
Getting up she found that the demon was nowhere in sight. "Jerk," she muttered as she began to go through her bag. She had no time to worry about Sesshomaru. She needed to get to that field and stop whatever was going to happen. Grabbing her arrows and bow she closed her eyes and concentrated on which direction would be the right one.  
  
As if someone was with her, Kagome felt a slight tug pulling her to the right. She opened her eyes and headed in that direction, without any doubt.  
  
She was long gone when Sesshomaru returned. He looked around and saw that the rest of her belongings were strewn across the floor.  
  
'Was she taken?' he thought as he sniffed the air for her scent. He found it easily but could not detect another scent mixed with hers. She had left by herself.  
  
"Doesn't a woman know how to stay in one place?" he asked no one in particular. He sounded irritated. Getting another smell of her sweet and unique scent he ran into the direction where she had gone. He wasn't exactly through with her yet....  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
@_@ done with another short chappie. Sorry guys but my homework piles up!! 


	12. and slowly

Kagome stumbled along the forest floor, her eyes closed. As she walked, the little tug grew stronger, pulling her in a certain direction. She was tripping over roots and bumping into trees, but at least she was getting somewhere…right?

"This is only slowing me down!" Kagome cried as she rubbed her nose after ramming into the sixth tree. "Maybe I should just walk with my eyes open and close them every time I feel uncertain about where I'm suppose to go."

"That would be a good idea. See, then I wouldn't have to judge your intelligence," a sharp voice said from above her.

Kagome looked up to see Sesshomaru on a tree branch leaning against the bark. He did not look happy. He jumped down and landed in front of her, making her have to whip her head down to see him.

"Can't you stay in one place for long? Or is it your calling to go wondering around like a fool with your eyes closed?" he asked.

Kagome rolled her eyes and turned around, walking away from him. "I'm busy," she said as she brushed him off. But he would have none of that. Sesshomaru grabbed her arm and pulled her back, almost making her fall.

"Wrong. I am a Lord, so there, for your time bends to fit my needs and wants. You have no power over me," he said, squeezing her arm painfully.

Kagome tried pulling her arm free but it only hurt worse. "And what exactly would your wants and needs be, jackass?" she asked, getting angry. " Money? You're rich enough. Sex? I am positive that there are many other women who would rather take my place. So tell me! What is it that you want so badly that you must kidnap, stalk, and hurt me so much?"

Sesshomaru gave her a hard stare for a minute before releasing her. "I'm not exactly sure," he said truthfully. He was angry that she had dared to speak to him like that, but an idea was forming in his mind.

"Not sure? You're not sure? You kidnap me and try to kill me all because you're not sure? You have my daughter taken away from me by the other jackass and YOU'RE NOT SURE?" she began screaming. "YOU DEMONS ARE SO STUPID! I DON'T BELIEVE IT!"

Sesshomaru balled his hand into a fist. 'Just take the abuse a little longer. Get her more upset. Insult her.' "It really isn't my fault that your daughter was taken from you. If you want my opinion, you're an unfit mother." He said. "First, you bed a man who is not your own and have his child. Then, you kiss me. Such a very "friendly" woman doesn't deserve to have a child now, does she?"

By this time, Kagome's face was red with anger. She sent one slap across his face, but it didn't do any damage. Hell, his face didn't even budge. Unlike her own, where the corner of her eye was a bit swollen due to the slap he had given her. Plus, it hurt like hell.

"First off, you kissed me buddy!" she yelled. " And if I had known Inuyasha was going to betray me, then I would have never had sex with him!" she blurted out. "You think you can own me, Sesshomaru?" she asked, "You think you can just use me and abandon me when you're done, just toss me aside?"

Now Sesshomaru understood! "I see," he said, face serious. "Is that what Inuyasha did?"

Kagome stared at him with a hard face, but her voice gave her away. "It's none of your business," she said in a whisper.

But Sesshomaru would have none of that. "Is that why you aren't marked as his mate?" he asked. "He abandoned you didn't he? Fooled you with the ideals of "love" and "passion" and took what he wanted from you. He used you didn't he, Kagome?"

Kagome began backing up, looking down because she was unable to keep her face impassive. She frowned because she knew what she was hearing was the truth. Sesshomaru continued.

"For his clay bitch was unable to bear children and you were the second choice. Blinded by your love for him, he made you have his child and then stole her away from you. Is this why you are so…emotional?"

Kagome stared down at the forest floor, teeth clenched. She wiped her tears away quickly but more came.

"Now if you are done humiliating me-"

"Hardly."

Kagome looked up to him and his eyes immediately softened. "But why?" she asked. Her bottom lip trembling. "Why do this to me?"

Sesshomaru shrugged slightly. "I'm not sure. Curiosity."

Kagome stared at him for a moment before getting angry again. She turned around and began walking away; her teeth were clenched so hard it hurt. Tears were still falling, but she held them back as best as she could.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"Leave me alone!"

"Answer me!"

"I hate you!"

Sesshomaru followed her, angry. "Do not upset me further, Kagome!" he yelled. He didn't know when he decided to call her by first name, but he was already comfortable with it.

Kagome stuck up her middle finger and continued walking. She then broke into a run. Sesshomaru caught up to her easily and pushed her, making her trip and knock her shoulder into a tree. She fell down, putting her hands in front of her to break the fall.

Sesshomaru stopped and looked down at her. "You're pathetic," he said. "How do you plan to take your worthless child back if you cannot even defend yourself?"

Kagome began to sob into the dirt. Why wouldn't he leave her alone?

"And crying will not help, I assure you," he said. "You might as well give up and die. You are useless."

Kagome slowly rolled over and looked at him. "I'll get her back one way or another. I have to," she said.

"How?" he asked quickly. His mind was making up countless possibilities of how he would do it. But she could never do the things he could. She was human and she was weak.

Kagome wiped her tears, and finally they stopped. Her face was grim. "I will," she swore. "I'll figure something out."

Sesshomaru looked at her for a long time. Even if she was currently covered in dirt and her hair was messy, she was still the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. 

'You catch more flies with honey than vinegar,' Ojai had once said to him. 'It's common knowledge.'

Sesshomaru offered her a hand to help pull her up. "I'll help you," he decided. " I'll get your brat back."

Kagome looked at him with disbelief. She couldn't understand him! Rather then take his hand, she slowly got up instead. "No." she declined.

"I was not asking you," Sesshomaru said tightly. "I was telling. And because I am your Lord, you will not refuse me."


	13. I find myself lost

"Daddy..." Anomie wrung her hands together in nervous anticipation. "Could we-"  
  
"No," he cut her off as he looked down at her from the branch he was sitting on. One of his legs dangled off lazily as his hands met within each other's sleeves. He hadn't seen Kikyo for a while now and was wondering where she was.  
  
"You didn't even know what I was going to-"  
  
"Yes, I did."  
  
"Could you let me spea-"  
  
"No, no I can't. It saves time if I don't let you speak because I already know what your gonna say."  
  
"What then?" Anomie asked a bit angrily. She placed her hands in her lap impatiently and scowled up at him.  
  
"You were going to ask me if you could jump off a cliff." He replied as he closed his eyes.  
  
"Daddy!" Anomie yelled in frustration.  
  
Inuyasha smirked. He really did like being called that, even if he was driving her crazy at the moment.  
  
"Daddy, I wanna go visit Miss Sango again!" she whined as she sat at the base of his tree, kicking her feet up and making a fuss.  
  
"Liar."  
  
"No, I'm-"  
  
"Liar."  
  
"But I-"  
  
"Anomie Higurashi," he said warningly. It made his ears twitch to say her last name, but he used it because she had been raised being called by it. She knew that, when called by first and last names, it meant to shut her trap or face the consequences. Of course, he had another more crucial reason for saying that last name. It was actually better than any excuse he could make up.  
  
He used Kagome's last name simply because he couldn't remember his own.  
  
But that was okay. Anomie stopped fussing and folded her arms as she rested against the bark.  
  
"Mommy would've let me..."  
  
"Anomie Ame Higurashi," Inuyasha spat out her full name. THAT alone made her know she was going to be in big trouble if she uttered another word.  
  
A long moment of uncomfortable tension passed between them before slowly fading.  
  
"You do know that when you lie, your scent is coated with fear?" Inuyasha asked. "Even if your scared or not."  
  
Anomie gave a half pout and half scowl. "I only wanted to see grandma again," she muttered her confession. She didn't know which way the well was and the only visible and worn down path was by Sango's house as it worked its way up a little hill. If scents from the future generated more then two feet into the feudal era, then Anomie would have easily sniffed her way there.  
  
"You still didn't tell me what mommy did to you," she began complaining again. "Probably ate all the Ramen. That would piss me off to the fullest..." she trailed off.  
  
Inuyasha ignored her as the topic slowly changed from Ramen to dead pet bunnies that had went to "bunny heaven" as Kagome had called it. He closed his eyes and half listened to his daughter's silly chatter.  
  
For some reason, the next thought Inuyasha had been that if Kagome was still alive. Probably not. Knowing his brother, he probably ripped her tongue out just to silence the loud mouthed girl.  
  
'Woman,' Inuyasha corrected himself. 'Kagome is a woman now.'  
  
He imagined the possible outcome of her murder. Pieces. A finger there, a toe here, and perhaps a piece of intestines hanging off a branch of a nearby shrub as the dirt beneath it made puddles out of her blood. The whole thing was hazy in his minds eye but one thing stuck out with amazing clarity.  
  
The clean cut of her detached head lying on the forest floor.  
  
He imagined that with such clarity that it felt real to him even though he knew it wasn't. Her eyes were half closed and blank as blood slowly dried on her face. The corner of her mouth slowly dripped out the crimson substance as the wind still ruffled her hair. Her blank and lifeless eyes, it seemed, were looking at him, as if he were the last thing her gentle eyes had rested upon before slipping into death. For a moment, he wondered if she had voiced his name before she died, like so many times when she had been near the brink of death.  
  
When she used to depend on him...  
  
With a start, Inuyasha jumped up and grabbed his sword. A natural reaction he always had when it came to Kagome being in danger. It threw him off a great deal to be sitting in a tree instead of facing his brother in a death match to gain revenge. The sun had long set and Anomie was gone. Her young scent still lingered in the air, but it was hour's old. A cold wind passed by, bringing new smells to his nose. With a concerned expression, he suddenly darted off in the direction the wind was coming from. As he ran, another gust of wind hit him at full force.  
  
With it, it brought the smell of fear, blood, and death.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Sesshomaru was terribly tense as he walked pass the forest scenery with haste. Since the girl was refusing to come willingly, he had taken her by the wrist and simply dragged her along.  
  
"What are you doing?" Kagome asked as his grip tightened when he stepped over a fallen tree. She stepped over it as he gave her a hard tug forward. "Will you leave me alone already?" Kagome asked, her voice holding no real tone. "This is the wrong way! Hey? Listen to me a minute! I have to go tha- "  
  
"Hold your tongue," he simply cut her off. "I am already on the verge of abandoning you here, do not make it worse by continuing your senseless talk," he said threateningly. She opened her mouth to reply, but when she felt his grip grow even tighter on her wrist, his claws almost sinking in, she withdrew her comment and momentarily settled down.  
  
Something, she mentally decided, was extremely bothering him...  
  
Why had he decided to help her? Kagome wondered as he tried speeding up. She laggard behind him until he tugged at her again, making her knock into him and fall. "Keep up," he commanded as he pulled her to his feet. Kagome stared him in the eyes, looking for any type of emotion that would reveal anything about him. He too stared back until the tension grew uncomfortable and he started off again.  
  
He was strange, Kagome mused. On one side he was withdrawn, doing things irrationally and deftly. He was always quick to decide a course of action, if the situation didn't catch his immediate interest. He seemed to think that everyone around him had three options. Live by his law, die by his hand, or avoid him altogether. The third choice seemed to be the safest to everyone, including himself, as he seemed to have wanted nothing from the people around him just like they wanted nothing to do with him. She herself was an example.  
  
Yet avoiding him clearly wasn't an option for her as he had seemed to take her as an informal prisoner. This brought her to think of his other side, the side that lay beyond his cold and distant mask. Through the little time they had known each other, he seemed to be intrigued with something about her. 'I will find out what draws you to me in such a horrid way...' he had said to her the night they had met. So he was drawn to her? Kagome thought, clearly puzzled about what he meant by that.  
  
She suddenly hissed in pain as he clutched her wrist so hard that his nails dug into the skin. Immediately he loosened up and looked back at her hand to see if she bled. Her wrist was red and sore from being gripped so tightly, but other than that, it looked fine. Despite this, he quickly switched to her other wrist and began pulling her by that one so the other could rest.  
  
Kagome watched in amazement as he switched and slowed down a bit so that she could slightly relax while keeping up. Her body was exhausted after all. How many days had she gone without proper food and rest? Her appearance was also dastardly and her feet were aching from the amount of walking she had been doing lately.  
  
She was thrown back into her thoughts when she observed his change in behavior. Just in a matter of seconds he had transformed from a hard and cold Lord to a kind of...slightly compassionate being. Taking a slight interest in her best interests when it was obvious she had been in pain. Just like the time he had awkwardly tried to comfort her when she was too stressed to deal with anything. And now she was in need of help with rescuing her daughter and here he was, gruffly volunteering. Drawn to her, she thought, seemed the best term to call their current situation. Being drawn to her had kept her alive for the past few days and, for a fleeting moment, she was glad that he was around.  
  
They suddenly walked onto the brim of the forest that abruptly led off to a deep ravine, which sharply tumbled twenty or more feet below them. It was so unexpected that Sesshomaru could have easily walked right off the edge if he had taken another step. However the clumsy girl, who was still lost deeply in her thoughts about him, was oblivious to the fact that he had came to a stop and slammed into his back, slightly unbalancing him.  
  
Yet that's all it really took as he rocked forward and fell over, dizzily falling for a few seconds before stopping suddenly. Kagome would have fallen with him if she had not thrown herself to the ground in attempt to stop herself from tumbling over the edge. Though she screamed, as he hadn't let go of her hand and his weight, magnified by the gravity, had pulled her wrist to hard that the bone shattered leaving her wrist, and most likely her forearm, broken.  
  
She held in another scream as she peered over the edge to see him still holding on. Though he was only making her pain worse, she involuntarily began to cry. She opened her mouth to tell him to hold on, but, instead, she voiced an agonized scream as the pain steadily increased. She looked down at him, hoping he'd see in her eyes that she wanted to help and ignore her tears and moans of pain as she desperately tried to think of a way to rescue him.  
  
One of her tears fell on Sesshomaru's face, and he was suddenly filled with a pang of self loathing, when it was evident that it was he who was causing her the real pain. Without thinking, he whispered something before closing his eyes and letting go of her hand, hurtling down the rocky canyon towards the thin stream of rushing water below, probably falling to his doom. 


	14. without you

If he wanted to lay there with no intention of getting up, then he was doing a damn well job of it. Nothing hurt him beside his hand, and for that he should have been thankful.  
  
But he wasn't.  
  
His eyes were open and staring at the sky. Had his mind been on where he had been walking, he would have seen the edge of the cliff much sooner. Instead his mind had been on the girl and his most unusual behavior towards her. 'I'm becoming too erratic for my own good,' he thought somewhat dryly as he began to get up.  
  
He looked down at his clothes to see that they were wet and a little damaged, which put him into a worse mood than the one he was already in. His armor was undamaged, however, but he wasn't surprised. It was armor, after all. What good was it if it couldn't survive a little fall?  
  
Logic had struck him before fear as he plummeted down towards what appeared to be a thin line of water, getting bigger by each passing second. His hand reached out to grab part of the cliff wall, though as he grabbed on to a sturdy looking piece of rock, it simply broke off and began falling with him.  
  
So Sesshomaru tried a different approach, clearly not knowing his own strength, as he forced his arm into the wall and destroyed part of it, breaking off and dragging down large sized gravel. This accomplished three things: slowing him down, bruising his only good arm, and making a large crater into the cliff wall. Sesshomaru landed in the river and swam to shore, despising everything in the world ten times more than usual as he fell into a really peeved mood.  
  
Now he examined his hand to see that his palm had been cut wide open and was bleeding. His arm and knuckles were bruised and battered and his claws were dulled and chipped. One nail seemed to be broken off completely and made a nasty looking cut. He knew it would heal in a matter of hours but did not care as his concern began to focus on the girl.  
  
Kagome.  
  
He didn't even like her, if he really gave some thought about it. She was too outspoken and loud for his taste. She seemed to have a small amount of common sense and a smaller amount of strength. And all she really seemed to do was cry and complain and complain and cry, which was truly pathetic.  
  
Yet even if that was the problem, it wasn't his brain that registered her as an interesting person, but his heart. Without even knowing her all that well, he had developed a sense of concern for her. He hated to see her in pain, even if he was a main cause. And enjoyed being around her as she somehow had the ability to calm yet disturb him at the same time.  
  
Though instead of pondering what those signs meant, he simply put his emotions for her off as lust. He lusted after her and nothing more. His brief mental insanity had proved it. He hadn't even found it surprising that, when he kissed her, the voices subsided. They had sounded angry, needy, and confused. The types of voices you should and would usually give into.  
  
It reminded him of a certain angry, needy, and confused half brother who always wanted his way, actually...  
  
Sesshomaru shrugged off the thought without thought. Whether they were, his conflicted emotions of not, he did not care. He had kissed the girl and he had enjoyed it, and that was that. Now he would move on and find her again. She was slower now that she had been wounded and daylight was completely gone.  
  
A lot of demons were hunting now and the wounded Kagome would be the perfect prey for them.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Pain, exhaustion, hunger, loss, and weakness were all she could feel as she lay in the dirt. She didn't dare move, nor had the energy to. Every ounce of will power and confidence she had was gone, as she continued to cry and drift in and out of consciousness.  
  
She couldn't bear the fact that she was failing her daughter. As soon as Sesshomaru's falling body was out of her line of vision, Kagome had convinced herself to give up, assuming he was dead. So she sighed, closed her eyes, and waited to die. She knew that Sesshomaru had been the only chance she had to get her daughter back. And without him, she would have died, anyway. She couldn't take on Kikyo, let alone Inuyasha. What thought in her right mind possessed her to try and rescue Anomie?  
  
Kagome knew her arm was broken when it began to swell and her wrist turned a sickening black, blue, and purple, though she stopped caring about it after a while. She was too exhausted to care about anything anymore. Drowning her self in shame as she realized how right Sesshomaru had been. She was weak. She was a pathetic woman who constantly needed to be protected and watched over. Otherwise, this was what happened to her: She had a nice broken arm, no energy to move, and was lying alone in a dense forest waiting for some creature to come along and take away her life. Wasn't everything just great?  
  
She must have fallen asleep because she slightly jumped when she felt a warm hand brush against her dirtied face. She opened her eyes by a fraction to see if she was about to be devoured.  
  
"You're still alive?"  
  
She heard a fragment of the surprised sentence, as she was touched again. It was a male with a rough voice, and he had claws. Kagome tried to yell as he touched her arm, examining it. She moved her head to the side and made out the fuzzy outline of bare feet. Automatically, she knew it wasn't Sesshomaru.  
  
"What in hell happened to you, Kagome?"  
  
This time, she only heard her name as she began to drift off again. She barely felt the person lift her up and begin to slowly walk away with her.  
  
"I'll kill that bastard for laying a finger on you," the person continued to talk to her as he held her close. Kagome willed her eyes to open as she dared to look at her rescuer. She gasped lightly before falling into a deep and painful unbroken sleep.  
  
'Brown Eyes. Black long hair.' She noted mentally before her mind went blank.  
  
The last question she could remember was an important one, but she doubted she would ever voice it as she felt her life dwindle on the border of death. (Again)  
  
Was the human Inuyasha rescuing her? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Inuyasha was here a few days ago," Sango said as she put her sons to bed. She kissed each one on the forehead as she talked to her husband.  
  
"That's nice," was Miroku's reply as he placed his staff up against the wall and sat down, rubbing his temples. Inuyasha did drop by every once in a while, so it was nothing new to him.  
  
"I made quite a lot of money from the exorcism six villages over and I'm exhausted." He changed the subject as he opened his legs and patted the space between them, with a small smile. "Come here. I've missed you,"  
  
Sango smiled and happily sat with him, giggling as he wrapped her in his arms. She sighed contently and lay back against him, relaxing. Absentmindedly, his hand reached out and rubbed her growing stomach.  
  
"A girl this time?" he asked as he kissed her ear.  
  
"Kami let it be. I swear, if I have another son, I'll grow his hair and make him wear kimonos anyway." She said in a bit of a serious tone.  
  
"That's a disturbing thought, Sango."  
  
She laughed. Then her smile slowly faded into a frown. "I wouldn't be so lonely for feminine company if Kagome was still around." She sighed wistfully before adjusting her self to get more comfortable "I told you Inuyasha stopped by. Anomie was with him."  
  
At this, Miroku gave a surprised expression. "And where was her mother?" he asked with growing concern.  
  
Sango gave a bitter laugh. "He said Kikyo was her mother now. And I hate to say it, but if Sesshomaru has Kagome like Inuyasha said, then I fear that Inuyasha may be right. Kagome must be gone."  
  
"Don't say that," Miroku whispered as he held her tighter. "We must always have hope, Sango. Even when things are bleak."  
  
She nodded and quieted as they both sat in companionable silence. They stayed like that; holding each other, until they fell asleep and had sweet dreams of all the things they wished could come true:  
  
Kikyo finally returning to the afterlife.  
  
Sango finally having a baby girl.  
  
Inuyasha finally holding Kagome in his arms as he told her he loved her, never wanting to let her go.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
And that is it for now. I predict about 4 to 5 chapters left, 6 at the most.  
  
After that I've got a ton of stories I've pre-written to choose from. None of them are complete but I've at least got the first two chapters done. Maybe I'll post summaries and clips at the end of next chapter and let you readers pick?  
  
Until next Wednesday! Ja! ^. ^V 


	15. I need you

It was hard, fighting death when you didn't want to. Yet, she couldn't just give up so easily. Her conscience and soul wouldn't let her. But that didn't matter much, as she found herself painfully dying. It all seemed like a painful dream that she would never wake up from.  
  
She stood on a pillar that seemed a thousand feet high. It was thin, with hardly any room to stand, and unbalanced as it constantly shifted side to side. Her stomach gave a queasy lurch every time it tipped to one side only to tip back and then tip over the other side.  
  
Kagome looked to her left and saw another pillar about two feet away with a door that was set up straight, even without hinges and a wall to support it. There were no walls where she was. Only an everlasting sea of darkness. The door appeared to be made of black marble with a gold and shiny doorknob. Under the door, a small beam of light seeped out followed by traces of soft music. It was a strong, soothing, and unpredictable tune. Constantly changing yet constantly repeating. It beckoned her forward, towards the door. Telling her to come and relax and finally be happy.  
  
She almost jumped over to the door but was startled by a scream. She whirled around to see another pillar with another door that stood off its hinges. White marbled with a black and charred doorknob, the door had a much brighter and harsher light that spilled from it. And no music.  
  
Only a blood-curdling scream.  
  
Oh that sound. That horrible and agonizing sound. It drove her crazy! Kagome placed her hands over her ears in a desperate attempt to shut it out, but nothing could stop her from hearing it. She had to put an end to it! She had to save the person who was screaming so cruelly.  
  
The longer she stood on the middle pillar, the more pain she felt. She could easily jump to each pillar at her side or tumble down into the darkness.  
  
But then what?  
  
Would she save the tortured soul?  
  
Could she run towards the black door and be enfolded in warmth and serenity?  
  
Or should she simply let the pillar completely tip over and fall into the abyss of darkness?  
  
Kagome looked at both doors again and looked down. She opened her mouth to yell out, but no sound would emerge. Suddenly, her knees gave way under her as the most unbearable spasm of pain coursed through her body.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Had I not known you well enough, I would have sworn you were insane."  
  
"I was."  
  
Ojai studied his young master skeptically. "One would think you would have been too ignorant to escape insanity. Did the girl help you?" he asked.  
  
"Is there some meaning to these questions, or are you stalling me on purpose?" Sesshomaru asked as he placed his armor on. "As far as I know the girl is dead. I'd rather be satisfied finding her ashes then never knowing. Now you have delayed me long enough. Bring me Tensiugua."  
  
"An impatient master is an unwise master," Ojai said in his usual metaphorical tone. He bowed his head and went to fetch the sword.  
  
"A servant with a tongue too sharp finds himself without a tongue at all," Sesshomaru countered as he looked over his hand. It was still healing. The cuts were closed and some bruised were gone, but now it throbbed and his claws ached dully as they lengthened themselves.  
  
Ojai laughed as he returned with the sword. "You are much like your father," he said with a fond tone.  
  
"I am nothing like him," Sesshomaru snapped as he took the sword away from Ojai and unsheathed it. He hadn't carried it around in years.after a while, he had just returned home and placed it upon a shelf on his wall, never holding it but always admiring it. It was a gift from his father. And if it could not be destroyed, it would always remain in Sesshomaru's keep and under his eye. Much like everything else he owned.  
  
"When I return, I expect to find the house ridden from the stench of death." Sesshomaru said as he placed the sword in its scabbard and placed it on his side. "You say the girl caused it all?"  
  
"Yes, sire."  
  
"And you are the only survivor?"  
  
"Jaken lives too," Ojai commented, somewhat dryly. It was obvious he had a dislike for the toad demon.  
  
"Typical," Sesshomaru muttered before heading for the door. "Two days are all I need," he said as he walked out.  
  
"Two?" Ojai asked, surprised. "Never have I seen you waste so much time on a woman. A human woman, no less. One would have thought you were too ignorant to learn how to love. Did the girl help you?"  
  
"Ojai," Sesshomaru spat, threateningly. His loyal servant bowed before giving him a wide and knowing smile.  
  
"Safe journey, master."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"She's been dead for over an hour now."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"You can faintly hear the heartbeat."  
  
"Faintly? If there still is one, then she lives. Leave her be!"  
  
"But Koga, it's useless. I think-"  
  
"When I want your opinion, I'll be sure to ask," Koga snapped irritably. His crony angrily stared at his back before turning to rejoin the others. Koga grabbed a bowl and slammed it against the cave wall as he jumped up and walked past his gang and towards the girl on the straw mat.  
  
She looked better than the condition he had found her in. When he had brought her, he handed her over to the women of the pack and watched over her as they set and wrapped her arm while cleaning and grooming her up. Then placed her on Koga's mat. The best healer in the pack and three more from packs over had been summoned to see what they could do.  
  
After forcing many tonics into her system and saying enchantments over her, they left it into the hands of the gods. Though her appearance was better, her health wasn't. It had decreased so rapidly that Koga had to strain to make out the movement of her chest as her lungs brought in air. It took so long that every time she released a breath it seemed she would never take another one.  
  
Koga sat next to her and frowned as he looked at her pale face.  
  
"Inuyasha did this to you," he muttered. "I should have never left him with you. You were always mine to begin with," he said angrily. He punched the ground beneath him and it cracked. "I'll kill him for you, Kagome. I swear."  
  
Her chest rose slowly and fell quickly.  
  
"Look at you," he said softly as he touched her cheek. He gently ran his fingers over the bruise by her eye. "Abandoned like damaged property. You don't deserve the way he treats you," he said. "You never did. Forgive me for leaving you to him."  
  
He watched as her chest rose again and deflated. He waited in silence for the next breath. He could hear her faint heartbeat slowing down.  
  
Until, finally, it stopped completely.  
  
Koga stood and stared at her. Taking in her calm and peaceful expression before turning and walking towards the exit of the cave. Tears glistened in his suddenly hard eyes as he signaled for his men to come and take her away.  
  
He stopped one and held him back.  
  
"Bury her quickly but deep. Her death cannot pass without revenge. There is blood to be spilled."  
  
The wolf-demon nodded and ran along with the other few men to tell them of Koga's plan.  
  
Inuyasha was a dead man.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
If she screamed, she couldn't hear it. If she was in pain, she couldn't feel it. She had fell off her pillar and into the darkness. It suffocated her, filling her nose and mouth and lungs and brain, making it impossible for her to do anything but fall.  
  
Her mind was so immobile that she couldn't even fall into a state of panic.  
  
Calm, she decided. Everything seemed deadly calm. Was she still falling? She couldn't tell. The absolute silence was all around her.  
  
"Forgive me for leaving you to him."  
  
The sound echoed through her body, shattering what she thought was her reality. The darkness released her temporarily and she became aware of the pain her body was going through and the feeling of her stomach giving a nauseous drop as she realized that she was still falling.  
  
Then she heard another noise. Loud but short. A single beat that jarred her upwards and made her shake, slowing her fall. It came again. And again. And again. As it pulsed through her, the sound rapidly increasing. Her heart. Her heart was beating.  
  
And she was alive. 


	16. because against my will

A/N: I feel bad because I'm not updating fast enough and all. So forgive me for the lateness of these chapters! Please? I'm making the chapters longer and it will probably end in four to six chapters..I hope you guys don't expect "happy" endings.  
  
***  
  
It was gray outside. Dark clouds were forming together as they moved closer towards the land, masking the bright moon in all its glory and making it seem dark, cold, and very evil.  
  
It was going to rain. And hard.  
  
"Hurry up and throw her in before the storm hits. I hate being wet." One wolf demon said as he climbed out of the shallow four feet hole he had just dug. He wiped the dirt from his lower pelt and knees and crossed his arms impatiently.  
  
"Right," another one said who held the girl by the ankles. He nodded to the last demon, which was holding her by her arms and they hefted her up a bit higher to toss her in the badly dug grave.  
  
A loud thunder ripped through the air as Kagome took a sharp breath. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked up at the sky as it grew darker and drops of rain began to fall. A drop hit her face and she shut her eyes again just as one of the demons looked down at her.  
  
"Do it already!" cried the impatient one.  
  
"I think she moved," he said and he blew on her face to see her reaction. Nothing happened and he shrugged.  
  
"Dead people don't move, now come on let's throw her in." the one who grasped her ankles said. He stared up at her chest, swearing he could see her chest rising and falling as a strong gust of wind suddenly came upon them. He shook his head and noticed how the wind made her kimono flutter about.  
  
Surely it was the wind playing tricks on him.  
  
"Maybe we should just place her in." the one who held her arms said. He could have sworn she had moved. "Koga does have a lot of respect for her."  
  
"If Koga had respect her would have came. This is probably some bitch he had a one night stand with," the impatient one said, gritting his teeth. "If you don't toss her in right now I'll leave and you'll put the dirt back yourselves."  
  
They tossed her in.  
  
She landed with a sharp thud and opened her eyes again and tried to scream out. Only to find that her voice was too dry to make any sounds. She sat up and her head swam making her dizzy so that she lay back down and clench her eyes shut as a headache formed. "Sess-" she gasped out.  
  
"She looked familiar." One of the demons said as they lined up in back of a huge pile of dirt, bent over, and spread their legs.  
  
"Perhaps she was with the clan for a day. Who knows? Let's hurry up. The rain is coming down."  
  
They all nodded and began to grab the dirt with their hands and throw it between their legs and into the grave, burying her alive.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*  
  
By the time they were climbing up the cliff that led to the cave, they were all completely wet. The rain was coming down and the thunder was booming loudly. Strong winds blew at them from every direction and bits of dirt and grit were flying making them squint their eyes and shut their mouths tight. They reached the top and were about to run inside when they noticed the whole pack, Koga in the lead, outside the shelter. All of them were baring their teeth and growling at a dark figure in front of them, completely ignoring the rain.  
  
"State your name and business!" Koga shouted over the wind. He signaled for his clan to surround him and they fanned out, the other three joining him as they began to growl too. They sensed a major power with him.  
  
Sesshomaru bothered by the rain and concern for the girl ignored them, as he began walking towards the cave. Her scent was lingering inside and the scent out here was quickly fading due to the weather. As he moved closer a few wolves howled and growled at him moving in closer. The leader, Koga seemed to signal them to stop as he advanced closer himself.  
  
"Who are you?" he asked. He knew he wasn't Inuyasha due to height and clothing but the hair and smell was almost exactly the same.  
  
Sesshomaru stopped and looked down at Koga. "Where is the human girl you have?" he asked. He didn't think they knew her name and planned to keep it that way.  
  
At this Koga flexed his claws. "What businesses have you with her?" he asked as he bared his fangs and a deep growl emitted from his throat.  
  
"He's talking about the one we buried." One of the three demons whispered. The other two hushed him quickly but it was too late.  
  
Sesshomaru turned and with such speed, grabbed the demon by his neck. "Where is she?" he barley managed to get out before he was attacked. Everyone, including Koga jumped on him. Biting, kicking, punching, and clawing at him with brute force.  
  
"Rip him to shreds!" Koga called out as he punched Sesshomaru in the lower ribs. Sesshomaru growled and closed his eyes, which had turned bright red and quickly his body began to change shape.  
  
His fingers on each hand fused together and grew much larger as fur spread over his body. His teeth lengthened and sharpened and his size increased dramatically. As he grew some wolves let go or fell off as the rest held on to him, still fighting. He turned and roared as he looked down on the wolf tribe and bared his fangs. His eyes so red they resembled the fire of hell.  
  
Thunder clapped in the distance and there was a massacre.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"I'm dead," Kagome said as Sesshomaru laid her under a thick tree. Dirt was all over her skin and clothes and Sesshomaru was smearing the blood of others on her every time he touched her.  
  
"Why am I so cold? Do dead people feel cold for the rest of eternity?" she asked as she shivered. She coughed into her hand and brought up dirt and blood. She wiped it on the ground and cleared her throat, her voice sounding dry and forced. She looked up at him, eyes bright and frightened. "And why are you here? And why are you covered in blood? Is that my blood?"  
  
Sesshomaru shook his head. "No. You are alive. Now hush." He said and drew his sword. Before she could ask another question he brought it down upon her and made a quick stab before pulling out. Then he repeated the motion to himself.  
  
Bones were repaired, cuts were healed, and infections were burned away as both returned to a naturally healthy state. Sesshomaru picked Kagome up and began walking again, ignoring the rain. Though as he got wet he could make out a different kind of wetness on his bare shoulder. She was crying on him. Most of the clothes on his upper body had been reduced to shreds as he transformed and he had yet to replace it.  
  
Kagome shivered against him and tried holding back tears but it was no use.  
  
"I thought you... Dead... It hurt so much." She made little sense as she rambled on about what had happened. "I was so scared.. Alone. Anomie." As she said her daughter's name, she cried harder, the sobs becoming wails. "Anomie," she said again and hugged on to Sesshomaru. She placed his hand at the back of her head and began stroking him.  
  
"I love you so much," she whispered.  
  
Sesshomaru adjusted her in his arms and kept walking, ignoring her completely. He should just get it over with and kill her. What was she thinking? That he was her daughter? How badly had her mind been warped?  
  
"I am not your daughter," Sesshomaru said as the rain washed them clean of blood and dirt. He picked up speed and began covering distance, leaving the rough mountain terrain of the wolf tribe and entering a field of tall grass, until finally they were back in the forest. He ran for hours, easily dodging trees and never stumbling. When he stopped he noticed that already the sun was rising.  
  
The horizon showed a light blue as the rest if the sky was still dark and raining. Sesshomaru ran up a steep hill and stopped at the top, looking around for some place to go. If he hadn't promised her anything he would have returned to his home.  
  
He noticed a field of wildflowers at the base of the hill and a small house built in the distance. He ran there and kicked open the door, not caring if he startled any villagers.  
  
He was relived that the house was empty.  
  
Looking around he placed Kagome on a futon and unfeelingly pulled off her wet clothes and covered her with a blanket. She moaned and turned over on the futon and easily fell asleep.  
  
Sesshomaru sat to the side of the house and watched her, keeping his protected vigil just as he had promised.  
  
But he couldn't look at her. It unnerved him to think that he was actually relived to have found her. When he hadn't found her by the cliff, he was filled with such a sense of panic that it nearly frightened him. And he could smell the scent of wolf around, it smothered the delicate scent of Kagome and trialed off towards the exit of the forest. So he followed the trail out for revenge.  
  
And after he had killed the wolf tribe, he revived the one who whispered of her grave. So scared, was he that he led him straight to the grave, no questions asked or protests given. When the reached, Sesshomaru killed him again and plunged Tensuiga into the grave, waiting for him to feel the sword transfer it's replenishing energy. He felt it hum and when it died down he retracted the sword, waiting for her to get up. A few minutes later he growled impatiently and pushed his hands through the dirt until he felt her clothes and pulled her out.  
  
He'd brought her back to life so that she could suffocate and die again.  
  
Fully pissed off, he revived her again and watched as she coughed and sputtered, bringing in air and spitting out dirt. He had sighed in relief. She would be okay.  
  
And now he watched her intently, wondering what affect she was having on him. Ojai said that it was love, but he doubted that. He had a yearning for her. Something called him to her, making it impossible for him to refuse. He had developed a sense of care for her, he already knew that but he couldn't figure out why. She was Inuyasha's old bitch. Yet because he didn't claim her it gave him and any other man the right to.  
  
"She is mine," Sesshomaru deiced. He knew he wasn't in love but merely attracted to something about her. She was too weak for his taste, meaning that he would provide for her for as long as she was under his power.  
  
"Sess-" she murmured in her sleep.  
  
On the inside he smiled to himself, her voice sending a wave of clam through out his body. Providing for her wouldn't be all that bad. Knowing that she would have to depended on him would always give him a great sense of importance.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"So where have you two been?" Inuyasha asked in an angry calm. He took the sleeping Anomie in his arms and away from Kikyo.  
  
Kikyo stared at the child's back before looking Inuyasha in the eye. "Walking," she said emotionlessly. She stepped towards him and tried to place her arms around him but he stepped away.  
  
"Is that all?" he asked, the same kind of forced calm tone coming out.  
  
Kikyo frowned in confusion. "Yes," she said. "Is something wrong?"  
  
Inuyasha clicked his tongue and looked away. "Kikyo is that all you were doing?" he asked once again. "And don't fucking lie to me,"  
  
"Have I done something to offend you, Inuyasha?" Kikyo asked as she stepped forward again, her voice sounding a bit angry  
  
Inuyasha fixed Anomie's weight and scowled. "Just exactly who the fuck do you think your trying fool?" he asked, his voice an angry whisper. He leaned towards her. "You stink of blood and death. Human and demon alike,"  
  
"You act as if you have never killed before," Kikyo said her eyes blazing though her voice was calm. "You dare accuse me of something then say it now,"  
  
Inuyasha looked away and back at her. "Its not right." He said as he scowled. "It's the smell. It's not right." He said to himself. "It's just too strong. How many did you kill?"  
  
"A village," she admitted. "Because they were after her," she said as she looked at Anomie.  
  
"They were what?!"  
  
"Inuyasha while you weren't around, I saw her making her way towards a village. I followed and while she was in the forest she was confronted by a group of snake demon. I jumped in front to slay them and she ran off. After I had finished I followed her to the village and the girl had been backed into a corner by humans, intending to kill her because she was 'tainted,'" she explained.  
  
Inuyasha seemed to be gripping Anomie so close he'd crush her. He stared at Kikyo before nodding. It still didn't feel right to him but when he looked into her eyes he knew that he'd believe her.  
  
"She woes you her life," he said to her, once again adjusting her weight and changing shoulders she was resting on. "She must have been scared. But I'm glad you were there for her, Kikyo. I'd have lost her without you,"  
  
Kikyo reached out and touched the top of Anomie's head softly. "I'm her mother, Inuyasha. She will always come first to me."  
  
He nodded and turned around. He liked that. Kikyo deserved to be the mother of his child. There was no one better suited for the job, he thought. She was beautiful, kind, and dependable.  
  
But as a bloody arrow lodged in his back and came out through his chest, he was suddenly filled with a sense of hatred. He turned and lashed out at Kikyo, getting a good swipe at her stomach before he and Anomie hit the ground, his body twisting at the last moment so that she was on top oh him. The impact forced the arrow deeper into his back and he screamed. Anomie didn't even stir.  
  
"You bitch!" he yelled as he looked up at her. "What are you doing to me?"  
  
"Taking my life back," she replied as she picked the sleeping child up and smiled at Inuyasha.  
  
"Anomie!" he yelled her name. Her face wrinkled up and she snuggled closer to Kikyo, still asleep.  
  
"ANOMIE!"  
  
"Give it up, Inuyasha." Kikyo whispered. "Go to sleep. I'll come back for you."  
  
The arrow glowed and sent a wave of dizziness through Inuyasha as he clenched his teeth and fists and tried to move. But the power was too great and he couldn't even make a sound.  
  
"It'll be ok." Kikyo assured. "I know you'll be angry for the death of your daughter but once it's over.we'll have children of her own."  
  
He bared his fangs and tried to growl as she slowly walked away. Again a wave of dizziness hit him and his head swam momentarily before everything began to go black.  
  
Angrily, he slipped into a dreamless sleep. 


End file.
